


Look Around, Look Around.

by bubblegumclouds



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Apparating (Harry Potter), Bullying, Coma, Crying, Cuddles, Depression, Draco has an eating disorder, Drowning, Eating Disorders, Emetophobia, Emetophobic!Draco, Endgame Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Fainting, First Kiss, Fred Weasley Lives, Happy Ending, Harry helps, Hate to Love, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Innuendo, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage, Muteness, NO DEATH, Panic Attacks, Pet Names, Possible Character Death, Scared Draco, Sleepy Cuddles, Spoilers, St Mungo's Hospital, Starvation, Therapy, Unconsciousness, aspirating, continuous feeding, draco just wants love, feeding tube, harry loves draco, nasogastric feeding tube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-09-27 04:27:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9963857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblegumclouds/pseuds/bubblegumclouds
Summary: 16 year old wizard Draco is lost in his own twisted forbidden forest and no matter how many times he tries, there's no way out. Harry Potter can change that and maybe shine some light on Draco's path.(aka Draco had an eating disorder paired with emetophobia. Harry does his best to help.)





	1. Part One.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic feels like my baby as it's based on a rough period of mine. I hope sharing it helps someone or at least gives everyone fluffy feels! Kudos, comments and subscriptions are very much appreciated!
> 
> Twitter- cutierobandrich  
> Tumblr- weasleytwinwonders

It had been a normal day for Harry, his classes and timetable stayed the same as a normal day at Hogwarts. It was lunchtime and Harry huffed, sitting down at the table and immediately tucking in to the piled food. Glancing across the table at his friends he saw that Ron and Hermione were discussing the spells lesson they just had. Hermione seemed to be raising her voice a little at times.  
“Ron, it’s not right, its WIN not WING.” She extended the words hoping it would get through to him. Ron’s oblivious face told Harry the explaining wasn't working. Harry wasn’t really listening however as there were plenty of other, more important, things on his mind. Draco being one of them.

Now it’s not like anything was new, he still bullied Harry ruthlessly and shoved past him in the corridor but certain things had seemed to change. The threats had become emptier than before, any promise of a fight was quickly let down and instead the verbal insults had become more prominent. Harry had spent many a minute thinking about what this was leading up to and what Draco was planning. It was easy to tell that something was coming.  
“Ron, did Malfoy seem a bit worse than usual today?” Harry tried to casually slip it in as a conversation starter. Taking away Hermione’s furrowed brows, Harry seemed to have gotten away with it seeming nonchalant.  
“He still seemed like a spiteful little brat to me, if that’s what you mean.” Ron sneered, his face scrunching up at the thought of the Slytherin boy. Harry paused for a minute then shrugged it off and continued to eat his food. It had been a busy day and Hagrid had invited him to the hut in the next break so all three of them ate as much as they could. Giving themselves a reason to refuse Hagrid’s sandwiches politely.

The next class had already begun by the time the three burst through the door. The class went quiet in their presence however once they scuttled to their seats and said their apologies to Snape, the muttering was resumed. Snape gave them evil looks but was too involved in the work to deduct points for them being late. Sitting down and sending thankful glances at each other, they took the time to prepare their things. Harry followed along with his book idly, not really engrossed in any of the chapters and certainly not in the explanations.  
“Excuse me Professor Snape, can I go to the toilet?” Harry asked with his hand in the air. Snape didn’t look amused at all but any chance to get rid of him and leave him in the corridor to get into more trouble was worth it. Harry was quickly dismissed and given a nod. Harry rushed off as if he was caught in the corridors nobody would believe he was going to the loo, given his reputation and all.

He fully expected nobody to be in there as it was lesson time and teachers were very strict however once he opened the door, he noticed a sound. Almost like a whisper. It seemed to stop once the noise of the door closing echoed around. Harry couldn’t tell who’s voice it was or what they were doing but the noises they were making were certainly very strange. There were words being formed but Harry couldn't made out what they were due to the feedback of the sounds bouncing around the room. He wondered who would be doing spells in the boys bathroom? Harry paused where he stood for a minute, trying to think who would (or could) be in here at this time.

Eventually he had to move and he wandered in to the stall next to the closed one, hoping he could find out what was going on. He knew it was nosy but he couldn’t resist. He felt awkward peeing when he could hear the person next to him but he had to go badly. Cursing all the butterbeers, he zipped up his fly and stood waiting for a while. It didn't seem to matter how intently Harry listened he still couldn't figure it out and he was about to give up as the same sniffles and hiccups had been going for the last few minutes. That was until he heard it, the first coherent words.  
“Please no, no no no, please.” The voice whispered and Harry began to panic as the voice was frantic. It cracked in certain places and it was obvious the person was terrified. Harry decided that he really shouldn’t do this but someone could be in danger. He scrambled and climbed on to the lid of the toilet as silently as possible, knowing any noise would raise suspicion. Once he was sure he wasn't going to have an unexplainable fall, he slowly peeked over the edge of the wall. What he saw had him desperately holding in a gasp.

Draco was sat over the toilet on his knees sobbing. Not just sobbing, shaking. His body was trembling and it was clear he could barely breathe as every few seconds he paused himself to try and take in a breath. His hands had a death grip on the seat and Harry had to fight not to cast a spell, revenge would be so easy to take right now.  
“Please, I-I can’t, no, I don’t.” Draco’s stuttered sentences were never finished as wave after wave of pure fear washed over him. Harry's hand pulled away from his wand as the voice was just too awful to listen to, it sounded a lot like a puppy getting punched would. Harry had no idea what to do, all the hate he had for Draco had taken a backseat. It was replaced by a need to know what was wrong. This was world's away from the Draco he knew, the take-no-shit bully he had always been unfortunate to come across in the halls. After a few seconds of watching the intimate affair, Harry felt too bad. He stepped down and thought for a minute, trying to make a plan.

“Draco, a-are you okay?” Harry stumbled over his words as he still felt so uncomfortable. In hindsight, this wasn't the best plan he could have come up with but it was the quickest so he rolled with it. He was stood outside a cubicle door asking his enemy if he was alright, it wasn't the most normal situation. There was a startled rustling and lots of moving coming from the other side of the door before a reply.  
“P-Potter,” Draco whimpered a bit more, it was clear he was trying his best to get the words out, “n-not now.” He sounded like he was begging, the sobs becoming louder after the words.  
“I’m not here to start anything, you don’t sound good. C-Can I get you anything?” Harry offered however the last part of the sentence got cut off by Draco’s forceful panicked noise. It was clear whatever Draco was afraid of had suddenly gotten worse as all of a sudden, despite his earlier dismissal, Draco was pleading.  
“P-Please, h-help me.” Draco sobbed and Harry heard the rushed unlocking of the door. He hurried in and hastily locked the door behind him to see Draco in the same position as when he had looked over the wall.  
“What can I do?” Harry asked again and it took a while for Draco to answer, his fidgeting and pulling at his hair becoming desperate. It was clear that words were attempting to escape but they got trapped every time they tried, hiccups and sobs taking their place.

“I-I can’t, please, I-I, no.” Draco suddenly clasped his hand over his mouth and Harry stood by the door, worried but not wanting to make things worse.  
“Draco, please talk to me, I’m starting to get, um, worried.” Harry said and Draco took large deep breaths and said his reply so fast that it took Harry a minute to separate the words.  
“I’m gonna be sick and I-I can’t do it, I can’t, I’m scared and I can’t breathe and, and I-I-“ Before Draco could carry on he stopped and leant farther over the toilet, his bawling loud and his trembling getting stronger. Harry felt awkward watching but not attempting to help so he bent down and slid next to Draco carefully. Now he could see his face, he gasped. How had he not noticed something was wrong? Draco’s face was sunken and his skin was paler than some of the ghosts roaming the halls. His eyes had huge bags under them and were red raw from the tears. He’d never seen anyone in this state, never mind Draco Malfoy, school bad boy and cockiest 16 year old around.

Harry pressed a hand to Draco’s back, hoping that would calm him somewhat.  
“It’ll be over soon, it’s probably just, um a bug or something.” Harry said, hoping Draco could find at least a hint of comfort in it. Not able to speak, Draco shook his head slowly and closed his eyes, tears still leaking down his cheeks. Harry was confused at what Draco was saying no to.  
“It’s not a bug?” He said, unsure of his question. Draco shook his head in the same way again, his grip on the toilet loosening while he focussed on being able to breathe.

“W-What’s wrong then? Someone give you some puking pastilles or a spell?” He asked and Draco shook his head once more. Harry had run out of options and he went silent as he watched Draco’s waves of nausea wash over his body, leaving him petrified every time. Harry was both fascinated and scared by how forceful Draco's fear of sickness was. Harry had plenty of phobia's but never had he felt, or even witnessed, fear in such a pure form. It truly controlled Draco's body and mind in a way that had Harry desperate to make it better, just so he could calm Draco down. It was only when Draco’s hand began rubbing at his stomach and it groaned louder than Harry had ever heard that he realised what else might be going on.

“Draco, please tell me you don’t have a...” Harry’s voice trailed off, his body going stiff with the new knowledge. Harry hated the boy, sure, but wishing THAT upon anyone would make you worse than you-know-who. It was a minute of more panicking before Draco nodded, his hair falling over his face with the movement. Harry didn’t know what to say. They get taught many things in Hogwarts but ‘how to deal with someone who has an eating disorder’ is not one of them. Draco’s eyes suddenly went wide as he turned to Harry and began to whimper behind his hand. Harry kept calm and smiled slightly to show Draco it was okay.

“It’s alright, just let it out okay? It’s only a few seconds.” Harry spoke slow and soft, he reminded himself of Ron’s mum when she helped him through his illness over Christmas break. He rubbed a hand along Draco’s back and Draco was clinging on to anything and everything, desperate for it not to happen.  
“Come on, come on, it’s alright, it’s okay, if it’s gonna come up, it will.” Harry said as he placed his arm around Draco, trying to stop the shivers. Draco's panicking was clearly making it worse and Harry had to keep reminding him to take nice deep breaths and try to slow his heartrate down.  
“P-Please Harry, I-I can't do this.” Draco sobbed and completely collapsed into Harry as he clutched his stomach and covered his lips with his hand. Harry was shocked at first and froze up completely but once Draco clung to Harry's jumper he softened. He gathered Draco up in his arms and moved so Draco was still over the toilet just in case but Harry had a firm grip over him. Harry, admittedly, had to hold in tears at the fact that Draco's ribs were digging hard into the flesh of his arm.

“Harry Harry no no I-” Draco was scrambling to stop himself as he heaved over the toilet and a horrible, loud gagging noise seeped into Harry's ears. Spit was dripping from his lips and Draco's body was convulsing with the lurches of his stomach. Harry had to wrap both arms around the boy just to try and hold him still long enough for the wave to pass.  
“Draco, it's okay, listen to me, you're gonna be okay, that's it. Just breathe Draco, you've got to breathe. Come on, nice big breaths Draco, good.” Harry had to speak a lot louder to get through to the blonde boy and he was rushing because Draco really wasn't breathing. He was clutching at his throat and taking huge gasping breaths whenever his lungs ran out of air. His body was trembling more than a top level earthquake and his coughing was endless but absolutely nothing was coming up. Finally, Draco managed to stop himself and his hand shot back up to his mouth again as he looked wide eyed at Harry.

“What's wrong, is everything okay?” Harry asked as calmly as he could, given what he had just witnessed, and then it clicked.  
“Water, right yes, um okay.” Harry grabbed a random item from his pocket and waved his wand at it, a bottle appeared and Draco quickly rushed and near choked to get the vile taste washed from his taste buds. He gulped down as much as he could and spat some back into the toilet however most of what was in the bottle ended up on the floor due to Draco's hands. He had an immediate attack afterwards but managed to escape more gagging with help from Harry and more sharp inhales in and out.

It went silent for a while and the panics between Draco’s sickness waves became longer. Eventually, Draco moved away from everything and leant on the door as he sighed and began to cry. His whole world just felt as if it was crumbling and now he’d made it so much worse. He swore he’d never tell a soul and now he’s gone and told his worst enemy. The thought just made him cry harder, damn weak body.

Harry decided he couldn’t see Draco in floods of tears anymore and, without saying anything, he pulled Draco in for a proper hug. Draco melted into Harry's arms, not having the energy to do anything else. Harry felt a longing to protect Draco even though he had never even wanted to be near to the boy before. Holding him close and seeing him at his most vulnerable reminded Harry that he was still a human being with feelings and anger and fear just finding his way in the world.

“It’s okay.” Harry whispered, trying to stop the crying and help Draco relax before he made himself sick again.  
“It’s not okay, it’s never gonna be okay, it hurts so badly, so so badly and I just wanna be good, I want to be the boy my parents want me to be.” Draco began to shout into Harry’s shoulder, clearly getting frustrated with himself.  
“How long has this been going on Draco?” Harry asked, rubbing a hand along his back where he could feel the boys spine protruding from under his skin. Draco was clutching at his stomach and his throat, it must have been hurting with how violently the sickness had wracked his body.  
“I-I don’t know” Draco's raspy voice answered honestly and Harry knew deep down that this wasn’t a new thing.

“It’s gonna be okay, I-I’ll go speak to someone, get you help.” Harry offered and immediately Draco’s heart began to race at an alarming pace. He pulled back out of the hug.  
“Please, please Potter don’t tell anyone. Please.” He began begging, his watery eyes wide and focussed intently on Harry’s.  
“Alright, okay, just, you have to do something about this.” Harry said sternly, wanting to get the message across. Draco, looked down and squeezed his eyes shut.  
“I-I can’t. I-I don’t even know where to start... I have nobody.” Draco whispered and Harry’s heart broke slightly for him. He knew he hadn’t had a very nice upbringing but he never thought it could lead to such a broken boy. He thought for a minute before giving his answer, the hope in Draco's eyes before he spoke was a look he'd never forget.

“You’ve got me now, we had our differences but if I’d have known that you...” Harry trailed off, not wanting to offend Draco or scare him off. Draco finished his sentence.  
“Starved yourself like a pathetic wimp.” He spat before biting his lip and running a hand through his fringe. Harry wouldn’t let Draco degrade himself even more.  
“Were having trouble,” He carried on firmly and loudly, making Draco look up at him, “then I never would have done the things I did.” Harry answered honestly and Draco hinted at his first smile. They let it linger for a while. Draco soaking in the love and support that he'd never felt before and Harry admiring the smile on his face.  
“Thank you.” He whispered and for the first time Harry saw the side of Draco that he knew was there somewhere. His eyes were full of light and there was no frown or pout on his face. The mask he wore had worn off and was showing the reality of Draco.

“You’re gonna have to talk to me, tell me everything. If you won’t let a teacher help then I’m gonna have to do my best.” Harry said as he watched Draco fidgeting with his fingers.  
“Well, I-I started because, i-it was a way I could control m-my fear. I’ve always been a-afraid of sickness and food made me sick s-so I stopped eating. Of course, my parents would just tell me t-to get on with it when I-I was ill. The older I got, the worse it got. N-Now I can’t eat without feeling sick and panicking and I-I don’t know what to do.” Draco’s story, even paraphrased, was heartbreaking to even the most heartless of people. Harry reached across and pressed a hand over Draco’s, showing it was okay. Draco gripped on to Harry’s hand and clung to it like it was the only thing left.  
“We’ll sort it, I-I promise.” Harry said and Draco nodded, looking a little better than when Harry first found him. For a while they just sat, letting Draco recover. Harry had replaced Draco's palm rubbing his stomach and he began helping Draco drink and not spill the water more in his trembling hands.  
“I-I'm okay now.” Draco sighed as he began to regain his confidence. Harry smiled at him, proud that Draco was trying his hardest to remain strong.

“Draco, I'm not sure you should really be up and about right now. With how ill you are, it might be best just to go and rest for a while.” Harry suggested and Draco looked as if he was considering it and Harry knew that if that was the case then he really was ill. Draco sighed in defeat and nodded, knowing he'd had several close fainting moments already throughout the day.  
“Come on, let's take you to Madame Pomfrey. We'll tell her you just fell ill” Harry said, giving it a minute for Draco to fully comply. Once he whispered a quiet 'okay' Harry carefully shifted him off his lap and got up, leaning down to delicately lift Draco up with two hands around him. Draco's hand's shot out to grab on to Harry as he stood, feeling lightheaded.

“Alright, nice and slow.” Harry muttered as he held Draco close, waiting for the dizzy patch to wear off. Draco closed his eyes, trying not to focus on the flashing specks of light shooting around his blank vision. Harry watched the boys face intently, arms ready to catch him if he fell but soon enough Draco's eyelids fluttered open and he sighed.  
“'m good.” He confirmed and Harry loosened his grip, still keeping it there in case Draco was lying to him.

“You shouldn't have done this to yourself Draco.” Harry stated, feeling a slight anger at how the boy had destroyed himself. It wasn't right and Harry was gonna damn well make sure he knew that once he was better. The anger took a slight hit when Draco placed his forehead on Harry's shoulder and his fist squeezed his jumper.  
“I-I know, I'm sorry.” He said as he swallowed to try and clear the lump in his sore throat. Harry didn't have a reply and he didn't think he needed one anyway. He guided them both out of the door with an arm around Draco's waist and his other hand being gripped as tightly as Draco could manage.

The corridors were empty considering everyone else was in class so by the time they arrived at Madame Pomfrey's room the silence was normal. Harry led Draco in and immediately Pomfrey rushed over.  
“Oh lord Draco, what has he done to you? Go! Get away!” She shouted, her voice shrill and unpleasant to anyone's ears. Draco dismissed her shouting as she helped him sit onto a bed and lie back.  
“No, No, H-Harry, he was helping me.” Draco explained and Madame Pomfrey was stunned into silence as Harry took the chair next to Draco's bed and Draco rolled onto his side, curling himself into a ball. Harry placed a hand on Draco's knee for support.  
“I found Draco feeling ill in the toilets, he was almost sick so I bought him here.” Harry said with a slight smile to try and portray that he wasn't lying.  
“W-What spell have you cast on him?” Pomfrey said as she shook her head, choosing not to believe either of the boys.  
“None.” Harry replied simply before he heard Draco give a groan beside him. Harry averted his attention, choosing to ignore Madame Pomfrey.

“Gonna be sick again?” Harry asked as his thumb rubbed up and down soothingly. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Madame Pomfrey casting a spell that was probably to check if Draco was under the influence of any magic.  
“My stomach hurts.” Draco whined as he curled himself up further. Harry got up and grasped the duvet that was folded over at the end of the bed, pulling it over Draco and tucking him in. Once he was done, he sat back down, brushing parts of Draco's hair out of his face just like Mrs Weasley did for him. Madame Pomfrey watched, not knowing what planet she was even living on.  
“Thank you, for everything.” Draco sincerely whispered. Harry smiled slightly, looking into Draco's eyes for a minute before replying.

“Shh, get some rest alright. Don't worry, I'll still be here.” Harry could tell he was using that loving tone of voice. The same one he imagined his mother using on him. Draco seemed to be beaming at the sudden rush of care. Just before Draco closed his eyes, he reached out and grabbed Harry's hand like he had already done plenty of times today and pulled it to rest on the bed with his own. Draco let himself fall asleep knowing Harry was there, holding on tight.


	2. Part Two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope everyone enjoyed and if anyone wants me to carry it on let me know! Any kudos and comments would be much appreciated!
> 
> Twitter- cutierobandrich  
> Tumblr- cutierobandrich

“I don't have a clue what's going on Professor Dumbledore, I was hoping you could talk to him.” Madame Pomfrey whispered as they both stood in the doorway casting worried glances over at the bed.  
“How long has he been like this?” Dumbledore asked as he watched.  
“Three hours, and Harry won't let go of Draco's hand. I don't like it, I think there's something going on.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes at the pair as she went to go and carry on sorting her shelves like she had been doing all day, leaving Dumbledore alone. He stood for a while, watching Harry even though he couldn't see his face. Eventually he wandered over and took the seat opposite.  
“Harry.” He said with that heir of wisdom he always had. Harry clearly hadn't noticed the sudden presence as his head snapped up and he suddenly smiled.

“Hello Professor, what are you doing here?” He asked, trying to be as quiet as he could so he wouldn't wake the sleeping boy beside him.  
“Harry, I think you know why I'm here. What's going on between you and...” His voice trailed off, looking down at Draco who was as close to the edge of the bed as he could manage just to be close to Harry.  
“He's ill, I-I just bought him here.” Harry was frustrated at himself for stuttering, Dumbledore always knew when something was wrong and especially when the person gave off clues.  
“Yes, I am aware. That was three hours ago, Harry. Why are you still here?” He asked, genuinely listening to Harry's answer.  
“I-I...” Harry didn't know what to reply. Saying the truth was out of the window and he wasn't a good liar. All he knew was he wanted to protect Draco with his entire being. He didn't know why or how. He didn't know where it all came from. He just did.

“Harry, I shall not force an answer from you but let me say this, the mind can be covered with lies however the heart cannot.” Dumbledore bowed his head as he got up to leave.  
“You may stay with Mr Malfoy for now.” Dumbledore commanded and Harry nodded, thanking the professor for his kindness in letting him stay. Dumbledore watched as Harry turned back and smiled at, what looked to be, the beginnings of a wonderful story.

Draco woke up about an hour later, rubbing his eyes and collecting back the memories from previously.  
“Potter?” He groaned, feeling his stomach rumble. Harry's head shot up from the floor and smiled.  
“You're awake, how are you feeling?” Harry asked quietly and Draco immediately answered.  
“Hungry, and sick.” Draco's voice was rough as he coughed. Harry handed him some water and after a few sips Draco immediately leant over the bin.  
“H-Harry, Harry, p-please.” Draco whimpered as Harry leant over, placing a hand on Draco's back.  
“Alright, you're okay.” Harry comforted but inside he was just desperate to pull Draco close and hold him until it all went away. Draco started to cough, trying to stop himself each time but he never could. Harry picked the bin up and gestured for Draco to lean forward so he could mess with the pillows. Once Draco was sitting up, Harry climbed over the bottom of the bed and sat next to Draco. With his arm rubbing soothing circles on Draco's back again, Draco placed his head on Harry's shoulder.

“Make it stop, please. I've never felt this bad.” Draco begged but this time he wasn't crying. He was shaking, his body vibrating under Harry's hands as if he was cold, but part of him had gone. That hit Harry hard because he knew what that felt like. He knew what the feeling of hitting the absolute bottom of the ground so hard you feel like you've shattered every bone in your body felt like. He knew what the moment of pure fear clutching at every part of you felt like. Maybe it wasn't the same situation but he could tell what that tone, that facial expression, that look deep within his soul, meant and never had he ever wanted to love someone more. His own personal memories were there, there was nothing he could do about them now, but Draco. Draco was here for him to save. God damn it was he going to do everything in his power to.

“Hey, hey come on, that's my brave boy.” Harry smiled, his thoughts motivating him to take care of Draco and give him love like he has never felt before. Draco looked up at him, his breathing still trying to stay calm and his sickness still present, and smiled as a tear ran down his cheek. Harry knew how much that must have taken for Draco to smile though the panic he was in and that just made him appreciate his braveness even more. Draco quickly placed his head back on Harry's shoulder and focussed on not being sick but Harry could not get that smile out of his mind.  
“H-Harry, I'm hungry.” Draco groaned as he brought his hand to his stomach and rubbed it.  
“Oh, yeah. Madame Pomfrey bought this for you earlier. Apparently dry crackers help sickness.” Harry said, reaching over and handing the plate to Draco. Draco looked at it as if it was going to leap out and blind him. He bit his lip and it was easy to tell Draco was trying to physc himself up to do it.

“How can I help you? Would you like me to talk or leave the room?” Harry asked as he placed a hand over Draco's and smoothed his thumb along his one of his knuckles.  
“Stay please but, c-can you distract me?” Draco asked awkwardly, he didn't have much experience asking people for favours. His dad had always taught him to be independent.  
“Of course I can. I'm just thinking about what we missed today. I mean I bet the teachers faces when Dumbledore told them where we were was priceless!” Harry joked as Draco took a bite off the edge of the cracker. Harry was trying to look without it being too obvious as he talked, not asking any questions because he didn't want Draco to feel like he had to stop eating to answer.

“Flying class is so dull too, I'm glad we missed it. I mean all we ever do is the same tasks over and over, we're old enough now to know all of it!” Harry rolled his eyes and Draco laughed at how dramatic Harry was being trying to cheer him up.  
“I'm so glad we have break next week! Not having to listen to Hermione explaining to Ron how the Alohomora charm works is going to be so great!” Harry smiled but Draco's face changed. Harry noticed and very quickly changed the subject, feeling bad about not remembering that some people didn't always have a nice family to go back to. That should have been obvious to him, had the Weasley's not taken him in, he'd be in the same position.

“I'm sure it will be over a lot quicker than it seems though! Then we'll be back here and I can sneak you in to our room somehow and we can sit and talk for hours.” Harry said, trying to make Draco think of a more pleasant future and it seemed to be working as a slow nod and a grin was expressed by Draco.  
Before he knew it, Draco had eaten a whole cracker and although it didn't seem like much, it took him a lot of strength to do. Once he had taken the last corner of it past his lips, he put the plate down and Harry didn't know what to do.

“Harry, I-I don't feel too good.” Draco said as he froze in his spot, not quite knowing what was going to develop. Harry was holding him immediately.  
“Don't panic, just try to ignore it.” Harry said as he rubbed his hand up and down along Draco's back. Madame Pomfrey walked over and stood at Draco's side.  
“Are you still feeling sick?” She asked with an exasperated tone. She was shaking her head as if it were Draco's choice to be ill.  
“Harry, you better stay here, if this is a sickness bug we don't want you spreading it around now you've probably caught it too.” She sighed and rolled her eyes, messing around with the edge of the duvet. Draco was still silent, he didn't dare to do anything in case it triggered it. Madame Pomfrey walked off and Harry breathed a sigh of relief, no classes and he got to stay and look after Draco.

Speaking of Draco, Harry hadn't noticed that Draco had been feeling around for his hand for the past few minutes. Finally Harry noticed and gripped it tight. Draco let out a shaky breath as he leant forward. Harry began to panic that he'd have an episode to deal with until Draco spat messily into the bucket, most of it running down his chin, then asked for the water.  
“Well done, you're doing really well.” Harry praised and Draco seemed to relax when he realised that Harry wasn't getting annoyed or frustrated with him. He lay back into the pillows slowly and took a big breath.  
“Passed?” Harry asked and Draco nodded slightly.  
“For now.” Draco said and Harry was relieved, he hated seeing Draco have a panic attack.

After a minute of silence Draco put the bin on the floor and curled himself completely up to Harry, wrapping his arms around his stomach and resting his head on Harry's shoulder, their hair colours contrasting as Harry lightly lay his head on top of Draco's.  
“I know you want to sleep but it's early evening, you're gonna have to stay awake a bit so you can sleep later.” Harry spoke softly and Draco could feel his breath tickling his forehead. Harry didn't get an answer as Draco was already softly snoring. Harry smiled slightly at him, he must have been exhausted. How long had it been like this? Harry hadn't noticed he hadn't been in class today so how many other times had he been sobbing over the toilet with nobody there just hoping he would be good enough. It broke Harry's heart.

Before he could get dragged too deep into that train of thought he heard a couple of voices and some footsteps coming closer. He looked to his right and saw Hermione and Ron walking towards him.  
“Harry, w-what are you doing?!” Hermione almost shouted and Harry frantically shushed her.  
“Shh! He's asleep!” Harry whispered and Draco stirred, he wriggled down a little bit to where Harry was lying and placed his head on his chest before relaxing again and Harry couldn't help the smile that spread as he looked at Draco's relaxed and content face.  
“You hate him and, what, now you're cuddling with him? Have you forgotten all the things he's said about us, about YOU?” Ron added to Hermione's comment and Harry sighed. He knew this was going to be tough to explain so he was going to try not to.  
“We made up okay, he's ill and I've been the only one around who bothered to look after him.” Harry said simply and they both shook their heads in disbelief.  
“So, just like that, you're going to forgive him? Harry, he's a monster.” Hermione spat as she sneered and scrunched her face up at the sight of Draco.  
“He is not a monster. He was given a shitty life and I think all of us know exactly what that's like.” Harry started to whisper a lot more angrily.

He understood why they were mad but the names were very uncalled for. He seemed to have silenced them with his comment and he thought they might be thinking about it until Hermione stormed off. Ron stood and watched her go, not knowing whether to follow her or not.  
“If you want to go Ron, just go.” Harry said as he sighed.  
“No, I know you wouldn't be doing this unless it was something really serious so, how can I help?” Ron said as he sat beside the pair on the chair. Harry smiled at Ron and his heart swelled at how trusting Ron was. He knew him so well and a situation like this just proved the beauty of their friendship.

Harry was just about to say something when Draco groaned and his eyes squinted open.  
“MmmHarry.” Draco's words slurred and Harry smiled.  
“Yes Draco.” He replied, glancing up at Ron who was watching them interact.  
“Can you please rub my stomach, it hurts.” Draco asked and Harry beamed at the fact that Draco had actually asked him instead of waiting for Harry to figure it out.  
“Of course.” Harry said and Draco rolled over onto his back as Harry placed his hand under Draco's shirt and rubbed in light circles. Harry had to lean onto his side and it was a bit of an awkward cuddle but they made it work. Ron was watching very sceptically.  
“So, a-are you two... dating now or?” Ron asked, confused at what he was seeing. Draco's eyes snapped open, noticing the presence of another voice. He turned to face Ron and immediately he scrambled to sit up, shoving Harry's hand away.

“W-What are you doing here, Weasley?” He spat the name, clearly trying to regain his arrogant façade. Draco's eyes didn't leave Ron's face and he didn't dare look round to see Harry's disappointed face.  
“Talking to Harry so shove off Malfoy.” Ron spat but Harry shot him an evil look and Ron muttered an apology.  
“Draco, please. It's okay, he's here to help.” Harry said placing a hand on his shoulder. Draco turned to face Harry quickly.  
“Y-You told him?!” The look of betrayal in Draco's eyes was enough to make Harry's heart stop and he could see tears forming so he very quickly defended himself.  
“No, no god no, I'd never do that Draco.” Harry rushed and Draco swallowed thickly as he relaxed.  
“S-Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed.” Draco whispered, his voice trailing off.

“It's okay, look Draco. I'm most likely going to be here for a while because you're ill. If I'm here, Ron is going to be here too so you're going to have to be nice or at least not hate each other.” Harry said and Draco backed down a bit, his face becoming tired.  
“I-I'm sorry Ron.” Draco whispered as he held a hand out for Ron to shake, Ron shook his head.  
“No, not yet. You've said too much about my family. You have to prove it.” Ron said with a stern face.  
“Fine then, don't wanna be friends with you anyway.” Draco huffed in a very childlike manner, slumping back into the bed and crossing his arms.

“Draco, listen. I know why you're being like this and I understand, I do but you have to understand that you've been rubbish to the Weasley's and it may take time to patch it up. I'm trying my best to help you here and I'm very very happy to do so. You don't, and will never, owe me anything but it would just be nice if you could try for me Draco, please? I forgave you easily because I understand but others take time. Just... please? For me?” Harry asked quietly whispering to Draco who then dipped his head, looking up through his eyes, and smiled slightly.

“Sorry Ron. It will take time I understand. I'm sorry for everything I said about them too. I haven't ever known a life like yours and I'd been taught by my father it was bad. I'm still learning.” Draco was getting a bit choked up and his voice cracked in certain places but overall he was very sincere and Ron seemed pleasantly surprised and gave a smile to Draco. Draco let a tear drop but quickly turned towards Harry before Ron could see. Harry noticed the wet drip and pulled Draco in, smiling at Ron who smiled back. Harry noticed Draco needed a cheer up, something to distract from thoughts of his father.

“So Ron, what did we miss today? Anything fun?” Harry said while Draco wiped his face and cuddled up to Harry to collect himself. Harry smiled down at him as he adjusted so he was sitting upright and Draco moved with him.  
“Neville messed up another spell as usual and nearly set fire to one of the desks which was pretty funny but it's been quite boring actually.” Ron sighed and Harry shrugged. Harry started a sentence asking about what they'd been told regarding him and Draco's situation but he was interrupted as Hagrid came stomping in with all his usual booming glory. He stood for a while and looked at the three boys all sat around.  
“Ron, if you don't mind, I'd like to have a little chat with Harry here?” Hagrid's voice was in his usual accent but with a slightly more serious tone and Ron turned to both the boys, raising his eyebrows.  
“Harry, I'm going to go find Hermione, I'll come back tomorrow,” Ron said with a smile before he leaned in and whispered, “Good luck.” The wide eyes accompanying the gesture told Harry that Ron was lucky he was out of there.

Once Hagrid had watched Ron leave, he turned to look at the two boys. Even Draco was a little scared judging by the fact he could never maintain eye contact.  
“What's going on here then?” Hagrid asked with his judgmental face on and Harry knew the explanation was going to have to come from him for Hagrid to accept it.  
“Me and Draco have patched things up, we're not fighting anymore.” Harry said quietly and Hagrid just stared for a while which set both boys on edge at what he was going to say. He didn't say anything, he just stood for a minute before striding out of the room. Leaving their conversation on edge and unfinished.

“That was weird.” Draco remarked and Harry agreed but was silently worried he had really upset Hagrid. All the time Hagrid had spent protecting the three of them from Draco and Harry was suddenly fine with him now, Hagrid was probably being protective.  
“Eurgh, great.” Draco groaned as he sat up and placed his hand on his stomach. Harry instinctively wrapped his arms around him, preparing himself. He could feel this one was going to be bad as every illness always seemed to get worse at night time. Draco was trembling already and the feeling had only just set in. The bucket was placed and they waited, Harry noticed it was almost like what he knew about muggle labour. The waves came at certain times and in between it would always feel like it was getting better and the next wave would be worse. By about the third wave Draco had started to have a full blown panic attack.

“Harry Harry please Harry.” Draco was panting, unable to breath due to the constricting of his lungs.  
“It's alright Dray, it's just a panic attack, that's all. Nothing is going to happen to you.” Harry spoke clearly in the way he'd used so far as it seemed to work. Draco had been gripping on to anything he could for the past few minutes, his eyes pressing closed then springing open every few minutes.  
“I-I'm so dizzy.” Draco whispered as he cleared his throat before crying a bit.  
“It's just your breathing okay, try and slow it down for me if you can.” Harry smiled. He knew he had to be patient and always stay calm in these types of situation as if this person who was in trouble thought you were getting annoyed it would make it worse. Draco thought Harry would be annoyed with it all by now anyway so he treasured any bit of comfort and affection he was getting to use once he was back to forcing himself silent while knelt on grimy bathroom floors.

“I can't do this please Harry.” Draco whispered as another particularly difficult patch came over him. He leant forward over the tin and gagged, his whole being tensing up as it forced it's way out.  
“Good that's it, breathe, Draco, breathe.” Harry reminded as he watched Draco's head hang over the bucket. He couldn't feel Draco's chest moving as he coughed.  
“Draco, breathe. DRACO.” Harry shouted but Draco was too dizzy. Everything was melting into a blur and suddenly there was no air left. No senses, no help, no light. It all faded to nothingness. The last words he heard were 'love, it's okay, breathe for me'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope everyone enjoyed and if anyone wants me to carry it on let me know! Any kudos and comments would be much appreciated!
> 
> Twitter- cutierobandrich  
> Tumblr- cutierobandrich


	3. Part Three.

Draco woke up to a light brighter than his eyes could take. For a second he was certain he'd finally got to heaven however as his eyes focussed, he started to determine the objects of his surroundings. Definitely not heaven, unless heaven had a bucket on the floor. He looked around him but all he could see was white fabric lining every wall. It seemed cramped, like there wasn't a whole lot of space to move. He called out, wanting someone there but nobody seemed to be around. His head felt like it was melting and his body was so weak he couldn't find the strength to move it. Eventually someone popped through the curtains surrounding him.  
“Draco, oh my lord Draco you're awake!” McGonagall cheered happily as she wiped tears from her eyes. Draco winced at the assault to his head as people crowded around him.  
“H-Harry?” He weakly whispered, needing the only person who understood him, by his side.

“Yes we know Draco, it's okay. Harry was expelled for what he did.” McGonagall angrily rasped, looking off to the side and Draco's breathing became more panicked.  
“W-What? No, please no.” Draco felt his world collapse as he began to cry. He wondered why the staff would be so cruel, they saw Harry by his side every step of the way. Everything finally started to go right, he was finally starting to get somewhere and it had all been ripped away by his own foolish nature.

“Why are you crying Draco, are you in pain?” Pomfrey asked as he placed a cooling towel on his forehead. The shock in temperature made goosebumps raise over his pale skin. He looked around again, desperate to believe they were playing a trick on him and Harry was around the corner.  
“Harry, p-please I want Harry.” Draco begged as he began to feel the crushing lonliness of not having who he had quickly depended on.  
“You must be mistaken Draco, Harry is the one who did this to you, remember? He's the one who cursed you.” McGonagall explained slowly and Draco paused. For a spilt second he was completely confused... curse? He knew that wasn't the truth but why was everyone so insistant that it was? His eyes fixated on a random object as he ran over the events as he could recall. Harry had never been anything other than helpful.

“W-What?” Draco stuttered, hoping they would explain more so he could understand. This seemed to worry everyone as they were afraid Draco couldn't remember anything at all.  
“Oh heavens, Draco do you remember what happened at all?” Pomfrey asked manically and Draco nodded hesitantly, squirming as she fussed around him.  
“I-I was feeling sick so Harry brought me here and looked after me. Then I panicked and I-I must have blacked out.” Draco summarised and everyone nodded along as he slowly recalled anything he could think of, but nothing about a curse.  
“Yes Draco but do you remember why you were feeling sick?” Snape's deep voice rumbled with the question, it was clearly aimed to prompt Draco's memory rather than to ask. That's when it hit him. Why they were saying things that weren't true. That's what Harry had told them. Harry kept his promise.

“Harry dear, what would you like for breakfast?” Molly asked, her voice cheery and light, neither of which Harry felt. He was in a trance when she asked, his brain registering a voice but not defining words.  
“Harry?” His name was called a bit louder and he came back, suddenly aware of Molly from his seat at the kitchen table.  
“O-Oh, sorry what was that?” He replied, a little stunned. Things had been going like this every since his expulsion from Hogwarts. Nothing had managed to drag his mind away from how Draco was. The school had refused to contact him on any matters regarding Draco so he was constantly left wondering if he was even still alive.

“Breakfast, dear.” Molly repeated, getting used to being around Harry like this. At the beginning she had tried and tried but it had been just under two weeks of getting nowhere so Molly had given up. Instead, choosing to place Harry in to a stable routine to somehow maintain at least a moment of normalness.  
“J-Just toast for me thanks.” Harry replied, not really thinking about the words, just letting them tumble out in a mumble. Molly watched him for a minute, the auror around him was just so confusing and complex. He was so lost and she needed to find something to give him purpose. She'd already tried sending an owl to the school to find out about Draco for him as she thought it might be guilt that was weighing Harry down. She got nowhere with that. She even tried to get Ron to report back but they were keeping everyone out of contact with Harry in school time. Harry just quietly ate his toast, no talking and no emotion.

Weeks passed and Draco was getting just slightly better. He was still severly underweight and not able to leave the hospital ward but things weren't as critical as they had been. Ron still came in every day, much to everyones surprise and Hermione's anger. They never really talked but he was just... there. Draco really appreciated that. Every moment he was alone he thought of Harry, the moments he had been there by his side, the moments he hadn't. He was verging on torturing himself with scenarios that meant Harry would have still been here. He'd asked Ron one day about his thoughts on what happened and Ron just stayed blank, clearly he had been told by Harry not to say a word. Nobody dared talk about Harry around the school and it was getting scary. It was like Draco had woken up in a different place, one he hated.

Nobody visited Draco either come to think of it. Every day he lived in fear of his dad finally coming to his bedside. By now he'd just figured they'd disowned him, claiming him weak, a fake, a disgrace to the Malfoy name. It was a heartbreaking moment when he realised that that was a comfortable thought. He'd spent so long trying to be good for his parents, he didn't see how destructable they were. Plus being around Ron had given him a strong intolerance for any sort of hate on the less fortunate. Any mention of Ron in a bad light and you'd have Draco Malfoy's mouth to deal with. He certainly couldn't fight in his state but he could still give out insults until his opposition had a breakdown. 

Draco played with the hem of his shirt after finishing a potions textbook. He was never usually one to read but he found himself doing it more when he was alone at night. He never had anyone to talk to so learning became his thing. He'd learn things and practice secretly with his wand and whatever he could gather from the staff in the day. He'd actually grown pretty good and he was currently learning something that was way past any year at Hogwarts, how to apparate over large distances. It was dangerous, almost too dangerous, but Draco had fought surviving when he wanted to die so a little danger was nothing. Hogwarts has lost it's 'home' status to him, Harry had reclaimed that throne. His plan was quite out there and could possibly get him kicked out of Hogwarts forever but he just couldn't have years more of this. It didn't feel right.

The only issue he had with it was when he read that it can cause extreme sickness. It would be okay if he managed to get to Harry because Harry could calm him, but if he appeared in the wrong place things could go very bad very quickly. He'd been debating the risk for at least 3 days now, constantly weighing up the options to talk to Harry but this seemed to be the only way. Truthfully, Draco was a bit lost without him. He decided that no matter what happened, it would be worth it. So, in the dead of night, he prepared himself to try.

He pictured the Weasley house, or at least what he knew of it. Every detail from the window frames to the burning fire through the cracks in the door. He closed his eyes and prayed to everything that he would be strong enough to make it through concious, or at least alive. He drew a breath and hoped it wouldn't be his last.

Harry was curled up on his bed, his fingers toying with the bedsheets. He couldn't sleep as images of Draco's lifeless body heaving would force their way into every part of Harry's dreams. It would always start differently, different setting, different situation, but Draco... he stayed the same. Harry was about to let the silent tears fall when his room shook slightly. He immediately whipped up, his eyes snapping to the new figure in his room.  
“D-Draco?! N-No. I must be dreaming.” Harry rubbed his eyes viciously as Draco fell to his knees from the force of the impact.  
“H-Harry, please.” Draco's hand was outstretched blindly and Harry grabbed it firmly. Draco was real. He was in Harry's room. Most of all, he was alive.

“W-What are you doing here? You're too sick to be doing this sort of complex magic, you idiot!” Harry's voice was angry but a smile beamed across his face as he pulled Draco in and helped him to sit on the bed. He pulled over his tin wastebin and placed it on Draco's lap.  
“Is this your disorder or the apparition?” Harry asked quietly and Draco drew in a big breath, his body shaking a little with the force of the magic.  
“Apparition and I-I'm good.” He replied quietly, placing the bin to the side and looking into Harry's eyes. It felt like forever since he'd last got to. He placed his palm over Harry's cheek, cupping his face and allowing the calmness Harry brought him to sweep over him gently.  
“You should be at Hogwarts resting, why are you here?” Harry whispered as he placed his hand over Draco's and revelled in the touch.  
“I couldn't stand it any more, didn't know where you were or why you'd gone.” Draco said worriedly and Harry sighed.

“Draco, just rest alright love. We'll talk tomorrow.” Harry said as he lay Draco down on his bed, moving the tin out of the way, and pulled the sheets over him. It was good to hear his voice and to be looked after. Draco smiled as Harry crouched next to him and brushed his hair off his face lovingly.  
“Harry?” Draco whispered.  
“Yes Draco?” Harry giggled as he watched Draco's face soften.  
“You called me love again.” Draco's face was tinted red, Harry could see that even in the restricted light.  
“I-I guess I did, do you mind?” Harry replied as he withdrew his hand and Draco pouted.  
“No.” He answered with a headshake and Harry laughed as the room went silent.

Once Harry was almost certain Draco was asleep, he opened the window, making sure the temperature was okay in case Draco got hot and woke up sick. He prepared a bucket and water by his bedside and locked his door in case Molly tried to get in. When he was done, he paused and looked at Draco. Harry hadn't realised just how much he'd missed him until he was here now but he was sure he couldn't ever bring himself to let go again.

“Harry?”  
“Draco, you're meant to be asleep. It's late.” Harry whispered back from where he lay on the floor.  
“Lie with me?” Draco hesitated to ask but Harry just silently smiled with pride. He got up and climbed under the covers, wrapping an arm around Draco's middle.  
“Goodnight love.” Harry added and Draco couldn't hold back the pure happiness he felt inside.

The morning came and Harry woke up actually feeling okay for once. He'd managed to sleep and his eyes didn't hurt as much as usual. Draco's warmth was still wrapped in his arms and Harry couldn't have been more pleased about that. He wasn't sure what the events were that lead to Draco appearing in his room but he wasn't too fussed. Draco was still asleep and Harry was desperate to let him sleep as he still had that sunken, pale face of his. Harry could actually feel that Draco had become healthier though and he was overcome with pride at how Draco was beating his disorder every day.

For a second he wondered what Molly was going to say. Draco hadn't exactly been a friend to her family but he hoped he could somehow persuade her that Draco was actually a sweet boy. Speaking of Draco, he started to stir next to Harry as he rolled over. His little face was squinted from the light and his brain was pretty hazy. Without even thinking, Draco leant over and pressed a quick kiss to Harry's lips and the second he pulled away, they froze. The tension was electric suddenly and neither of the boys dare acknowledge what just happened. The room fell silent, only their timid breaths could be felt on each others faces due to closeness.

“B-Breakfast, do you, um, eat breakfast?” Harry stuttered as he kept his gaze firmly on the wall just past Draco's ear. Draco looked down at Harry's shirt, feeling embarrassed at the slip up and wanting to apologise. He couldn't apologise however, as his voice wasn't quite working anymore.  
“Y-Yeah.” Draco stuttered and his voice cracked but at least it was out there. Harry drew in a big breath and looked down, tucking some of the blonde hair behind Malfoy's ear.  
“I-I'm proud of you, f-for eating breakfast, I mean.” Harry fumbled but it made Draco look up at him and smile.  
“Thanks Potter.” Draco replied, glad that their little conversation eased the moment. They were about to have much bigger problems though.

Molly was downstairs, singing in the kitchen and obviously preparing Harry's breakfast. The two boys got ready and discussed for a minute what the plan was before deciding that there was no way they could predict what was going to happen. Harry went down the stairs first, noticing Molly had her back to him as she plated up food. Harry signalled Draco down and they stood closely together, Draco glued to Harry's side, and waited for Molly to turn around.  
“Harry, dear I've made your-” Her sentence was cut off when she went to put the plates on the table behind her and dropped them with a gasp. Both boys cringed at the loud smashing of china and waited for her to say something.

“Mrs Weasley, I-I can explain.” Harry began but Molly interrupted him.  
“Well you damn well better, a Malfoy, in this house. After all he and his family have done to us. You have a nerve showing your face here boy.” Molly sneered at Draco, clearly very distressed at the situation.  
“Maybe you better wait outside for a minute.” Harry mumbled quietly to Draco and Draco bowed his head, ready to leave. Molly stuck her hand out in front of him.  
“Neither of you are going anywhere until one of you explains what's going on or I shall be sending an owl to Hogwarts quicker than you can say Merlin.” Molly snapped and both boys silently took their seats at the breakfast table. Molly sat opposite them, leaning forward to seem more intimidating. Harry decided to start before Draco did, hoping his connection with her would allow him more leeway in his explaination.

“I-I felt so bad about all I did to him that I asked him to come here so I could apologise. It's my fault, I'm sorry. I didn't think it through.” Harry lied and Draco stayed silent. He knew deep down what he had to do though.  
“Tell the truth Harry, tell her everything. She deserves to know.” Draco coldly murmured to Harry and he looked wide eyed back.  
“Draco... are you sure you're ready for that.” Harry asked, placing his hand over Draco's that was placed on the table. He nodded slowly but surely.

“Start talking.” Molly demanded and Harry had one last look at Draco before he began.  
“A-A few months ago, I found Draco in a toilet crying but I didn't cast a spell, he looked too scared. I asked him if he needed help and he let me in. That was when I found out that he...” Harry drew in a breath, getting emotional with the memory, “had a severe eating disorder.” Harry paused, letting a tear drip down his face as he gripped Draco's hand tightly. Every part of Draco was desperate to curl into Harry but he couldn't, not yet.

“I tried to get him some help, but he refused. I promised not to tell anyone and I took him to the hospital wing and told everyone he was just ill. When he passed out, everyone began asking me what happened. They threatened to expell me if I didn't tell the truth but I promised I wouldn't tell anyone so I made up that I tried to kill him with a curse to cover it up. Then last night, Draco apparated into my room and I just missed him so much. I-I thought he was dead and I would have to live knowing what really happened so when he came to me a-alive I just... I've never felt so much relief. I-I was so scared that I'd never get to tell him, I think I love him.” Harry cried and spilled out too much before he could stop himself.  
“W-What?” Draco whispered as he turned to Harry, tears streaming down his face. He loved him? That was such a strong word. Nobody ever loved Draco, nobody ever could.  
“I-I'm sorry but I... think I love you.” Harry confessed as he paused, waiting for a reaction from Draco.

“R-Right, okay.” Molly sighed deeply, there was too much to say and it all needed to be said at once.  
“So, Harry. The curse was just a lie to cover up Draco's problems?” Molly said and Harry nodded, feeling like the worlds eyes were all plastered on him.  
“Draco, is what Harry said true. He was just helping you?” Molly asked and Draco looked up.  
“I-I don't know anything about what lies Harry told but the real story he told then was the truth.” Draco nervously stated as the tension began to rise.

“Mrs Weasley, m-may I take a minute. I-I'm not feeling too good.” Draco asked and Harry's head immediately snapped up and an arm was around Draco.  
“Hey, hey alright. It's okay, don't panic.” Harry said calmingly as he rubbed Draco's back. Draco could feel the tears welling and his heart beginning to race but he couldn't do this, not now. They needed to discuss so much and it was such an important moment, he couldn't allow his stupid fear to get in the way.

“Breakfast, it's because you've not had breakfast. You're just hungry love.” Harry realised and slowly began to try and calm Draco down by rubbing a hand softly on his stomach. The fact that all the attention was now on him and his panic gave him more anxiety than he already had. He hated it when his phobia was emphasised. Draco suddenly began to cry, he wasn't quite sure where it came from but the stress and pressure was just too much.  
“Alright, shhh. Okay, come on.” Harry muttered softly as Draco placed himself in Harry's lap and curled up. He was aware that Molly was just across the table but the temptation to curl into the safety of Harry in his dark moment was just too much. Harry quickly put his arms around Draco, who was now sitting on his lap.  
“I-I'm sorry, I did this Harry. I-I started this mess.” Draco cried and Harry immediately interjected.  
“No, hey come here. Calm down or you're gonna make yourself ill again aren't you, hey?” Harry said lightly, his tone going up towards the end as he pulled Draco in closer, plastering their bodies together.  
“You listen to me, I am so proud of how far you've come and you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm gonna make it all okay just like I said I would.” Harry reminded Draco as he soothingly rubbed his thumb along Draco's neck.

“I-I think I'm going to be sick, H-Harry.” Draco stuttered and before Harry could move, Molly was there with a bucket and a glass of water.  
“Alright love, sit up.” Harry said as he helped Draco get himself comfortable and placed the bucket on his lap.  
“I-I can't, w-what if it h-happens again?” Draco rushed, his desperate crying breaking up the words.  
“It won't alright, I won't let it. Just take nice deep breaths for me.” Harry imitated big breaths and coaxed Draco to do the same. He managed to for a minute before panicking when the sickness seemed to be ebbing closer.  
“H-Harry, no please, I-I can't, please.” Draco started to gasp and Harry averted his gaze from the bottom of the bucket to himself.  
“Draco sweetheart. Listen. You are going to _have_ to calm down for me.” Harry said softly but sternly. Draco sniffled and choked on a few breaths as Harry wiped his tears away with his thumb.

“Shhh, okay, okay, shhhh.” Harry whispered and Draco began to breathe normally again as he rested their foreheads together. Draco shut his eyes and managed to calm himself down with Harry's slow murmurs and steady heartbeat thrumming under his palm.  
“Good, I'm so proud.” Harry whispered and Draco couldn't stand feeling Harry's warm breath hit his lips anymore. He carefully leant in so Harry knew what he was doing and briefly pressed their lips together. The touch was barely there but it was what they both needed. After such a long time of being lost, Draco finally found his way. He felt accepted. He belonged.


	4. Part Four.

Molly watched the intimate moment, unsure of how to feel. It was a lot to take in and suddenly her almost adopted son was kissing the families lifelong enemy.  
“Boys.” She interrupted and immediately they pulled apart and apologised, sitting back in their seats as Harry double and triple checked that Draco was okay now.  
“Listen, it's clear to see that you both like each other. I'm not denying that for one. Draco, I really think you need to get help with your disorder and I think you have been very foolish to leave Hogwarts in such a state. Harry, the lying was also an incredibly stupid thing to do and I'm disappointed in you. I'm just not sure I can condone this in our house, not after what this family has been through with the Malfoy's.” Molly explained and Draco drew in a shaky breath. He figured this might happen but he couldn't drag Harry down with him, not after all he'd sacrificed.  
“I will leave Mrs Weasley, I am sorry to intrude on your home.” Draco stated sincerely as he stood up to leave. Harry placed a hand on his arm and looked up at him with teary eyes.  
“I'm going with you.” He stated, getting up himself. Draco shook his head.  
“No Harry, you've done more than enough. I'll be okay.” Draco said as he placed his hand over Harry's and savoured the last touch they could ever have.

“No.” Harry whispered as he got up and launched himself into Draco's arms. He thought he'd lost him once, it wasn't happening again. He clung to Draco's clothes, balling the soft fabric in his fists. Draco fought back tears, not knowing where he was going or what he was going to do. Molly watched, really debating her choices. Draco wanted to leave quick to allow Harry to move on but before he went, he had to just mention something for when Harry got back to school.  
“Oh Harry, I assume you put him up to it but Ron kept his promise too.” Draco smiled and both Molly and Harry were confused, their brows furrowed.  
“What promise?” Harry asked and Draco smiled.  
“He visited me every day, mostly he was the only visitor but he always came to sit with me after classes.” Draco smiled at the kindness Ron had shown.  
“I didn't ask him to do that Draco.” Harry corrected and Draco froze. Why would Ron stay with him if it wasn't for his friend?  
“W-What? I just assumed you'd asked him to keep an eye on me because...” Draco trailed off, not believing what he was hearing.  
“You're saying Ron... is your friend?” Molly asked Draco and Draco nodded.  
“Yeah, he spent at least an hour a day with me. He wouldn't talk much but it was still nice to have him there.” Draco explained with a smile on his face. Ron was there, out of his own free time, just because he wanted to be. If it was true, that had been one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for him.  
“Well... oh Merlin, I better not regret this but sit down Draco.” Molly sighed and both boys relaxed immensely.  
“Thank you, Mrs Weasley, thank you.” Draco repeated, hoping it at least showed a glimpse of his true feelings.  
“If I find out you're lying about Ron-” Molly started, pointing a finger at Draco but Harry quickly intervened.  
“He's not Molly, Ron sat with us when I was there. He said he wanted to help but at the time he still hadn't forgiven Draco. I guess he has now.” Harry smiled and was pleased to see Draco looking just as happy as they sat back at the kitchen table. Draco's palm was clammy in Harry's but there was no way either of them were letting go.

“Now, I know you don't want to, Draco but we do have to get you back to Hogwarts. They are the best place to be for your disorder.” Molly reminded and Draco nodded.  
“I know, a-and I will go back. It's just... I can't, I can't tell anybody.” Draco whispered as facing the reality of it was too difficult. All the time he'd hidden away, claiming it was all the Quidditch that was making his robes hang loose and that he just hadn't drunk enough that day or stood up too quick when he got dizzy. Lies had poured so easily and effortlessly at school that the truth had been buried deep where nobody could find it. He never had to bother with lies at home, they never asked.  
Molly could see how stressed Draco was and how overwhelming things had gotten so she changed the subject, not wanting him to pass out in the kitchen.

“Draco, what can I get you for breakfast? Harry, I presume you want toast?” She said as she cast a spell on the broom, making it gather together all of the broken china scattered along the floor. Harry nodded slowly but turned to Draco.  
“I-I um, I'll just have one slice of, um toast please.” He stuttered, already working himself up over the food.  
“Dray, I'm here.” Harry muttered as he rubbed his thumb on Draco's soft skin. He'd been eating bits at Hogwarts and he was doing a little better at maybe getting a bit of cereal in him but the prospect of food was still daunting. When Molly put the place in front of him and he caught a sniff at the strong smell he pulled his chair back like the toast was infected. The legs scraped along the floor and they both silently turned to him. Draco caught eye contact with Harry and shook his head, even the toast crumbs around Harry's mouth made his stomach lurch unpleasantly.

“Don't panic alright, baby steps. Just get used to the smell of it yeah? Come here love.” Harry said and Draco scooted back, following Harry's beckoning. He tried to repeat his safe sentences (as he liked to call them) in his head. 'You're going to be fine' 'it's gonna be fine' 'do not panic' 'Harry is here'. He focussed on them, forcing himself to believe them. Harry was desperate to help Draco but he knew there was nothing he could do, this was something Draco had to do by himself. They ate in silence with Molly briefly muttering a question to Harry who wouldn't stop side eyeing Draco even when he answered. Draco had been fidgeting and Harry turned to him once he had finished.

“How you feeling?” He whispered as he rubbed his hand along Draco's forearm. Molly was heading upstairs, not wanting to witness more of them than she had to.  
“Okay I guess, it's just,” Draco paused to let a brief rumble of his stomach pass, hoping it wouldn't bring sickness with it, “with everything that's gone on I can't seem to settle.” He replied, sighing at the sorry for itself piece of toast in front of him.  
“It'll be okay, you just need to try-” Harry paused as he heard a stomach groan but it wasn't Draco's. Judging by the confused look on his face, Draco heard it too.  
“Sorry, breakfast was a lot,” Harry rolled his eyes as he focussed himself back on Draco, “ it's all up in your head, okay and you can combat that can't you? I know how brave you are,” Harry paused and suddenly felt a bit... not good.  
“I know it is but I-” Draco turned to face Harry but he looked suddenly quite frozen. Draco's eyes scanned Harry.  
“A-Are you okay?” Draco asked, growing nervous as to why Harry had gone silent.

“D-Draco, I need you to just go upstairs and put some music on or cover your ears, okay?” Harry said as smoothly as he could. He knew what was coming but he didn't want to push Draco into a panic. He did anyway because Draco realised his worst fears were coming true.  
“I-I, um.” He was conflicted because Harry always helped him yet staying would probably end up worse for both of them.  
“Draco, it's okay,” Harry forced the feeling away but it only made it worse, “g-go now.” He stuttered, running to the sink. Draco felt the panic tears start to pour as he plugged his fingers in his ears and sprinted as fast as he could upstairs, tripping in his haste. Molly rushed down to the kitchen from the toilet she'd been cleaning, confused at why there was such a racket.

“What's going on? Oh Harry dear, are you okay?” Molly said as she quickly slid around the table to where Harry was stood.  
“I-I ate too fast trying to take care o-of Draco and now I-I've gone and made myself bloody sick.” Harry laughed as much as he could while his fingers tapped on the metal.  
“Where did Draco go? You would have thought after all the times you've looked after him, he'd be there for you one time.” She said with a hint of harshness biting at her words while rubbing Harry's back.  
“He has um,” Harry paused, feeling an immediate wave of sickness pulse over him. He leant over and braced himself but it stopped. He suddenly had a lot more respect for Draco dealing with this all the time. He tried to remember what he was going to say.  
“Fear of sickness, I think it's called something like, e-emo-ema-tophobia?” Harry stuttered out sounds in an attempt to find the word but he couldn't seem to. Molly rolled her eyes.  
“Well, still.” She brushed it off for Harry's sake but he could tell she had a few more opinions on the topic. Harry wasn't going to push her though as finally, his morning's food had overflowed, spilling up to his throat. He tried to keep it as quiet as possible so Draco wouldn't be triggered by it and luckily, it was just an issue of too much going down too fast so it was over within a second. He spat into the sink, managing to have gotten through the whole ordeal relatively unaffected. He rinsed his mouth out and waited to see if any more was going to come up. He didn't really need to wait but he wanted to be sure so he wouldn't have to panic Draco twice. After thanking Molly for helping him, he headed upstairs to brush his teeth and check on Draco.

“Hey love.” Harry said and his heart broke at the sight before him. Draco was curled up in the corner of Harry's bed shaking violently and humming to himself loudly. Harry didn't want to startle him but he had no way to get Draco's attention other than to place a hand on his knee. Draco jumped and his eyes sprung open, his hands slowly came away from his ears and he stopped humming.  
“A-Are you okay?” Draco asked nervously, unsure of whether he wanted to know the answer. Harry smiled.  
“I'm absolutely fine. Nothing to worry about alright?” Harry whispered, knowing the blonde boy was still on edge with every second.  
“I-I'm sorry, you help me so much and I-I desert you when you need me. I'm so sorry.” Draco whispered, his head hung in shame and Harry sat next to him.  
“Dray, we all have fears we can't quite face yet and that is yours. It's nothing to apologise and be ashamed about, I'd be the same if you had to do something with heights. There is no way on the earth you would get me climbing anything huge!” Harry's eyes widened in fake terror and Draco laughed, rubbing his eyes.  
“I just feel so selfish Harry, I feel like all I'm doing is taking and taking off everyone.” Draco admitted and Harry cupped his cheek.  
“Even the fact you've realised that means you're not selfish. Just let yourself have a break, for a minute, let yourself be loved Draco.” Harry said, loving the way Draco's name rolled off his tongue when he spoke. They both knew what their eye contact meant but neither could find it in them to move forward and lose it.

Eventually, Draco leaned in, wanting to give Harry something for the first time rather than the other way around. Their lips met passionately and both boys moved closer, desperate to touch each other and be more involved in the kiss. Harry's hand stayed cupped on Draco's cheek and Draco's moved to Harry's hip. Draco tasted like coffee even though he hadn't had any yet, and his lips were perfectly smooth. Harry tasted like strong mint from the toothpaste and although his lips were more chapped, they still fit perfectly with Draco's. They pulled apart with a few little touches, their lips shining.  
“You're so beautiful.” Harry whispered and Draco forced himself not to deny but instead pay it forward.  
“You're stunning, look at you.” Draco replied in amazement. The light that flickered in Harry's eyes and the way his teeth just tugged slightly on his lip had Draco feeling weak just thinking about it.  
“I want to be with you, Draco.” Harry knew it was a big thing to just come out with but he felt like the moment deserved it. Draco deserved it.  
“You too, Potter.” Draco smirked as he felt his cheeks heat up and a rush of the most indescribable feeling.

Right on queue, almost as if it was scripted, before they could discuss anything further Draco's stomach made an unpleasant noise, interrupting the moment.  
“Damn it, you never ate your toast. We need to get something into you love.” Harry said, annoyed that he'd forgotten about the most important part of Draco's schedule. Draco shook his head and bit his lip.  
“P-Please don't make me, I-I can't.” Draco whispered and Harry softened, pulling him closer and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.  
“You listen to me love, I'm going to make sure you're absolutely fine okay? I'll go make another slice of toast and we'll curl up here together and chat, that sound good?” Harry offered and by the grin that spread on Draco's face, he seemed all for the idea.

“Alright, here we go.” Harry said as he came through the door to their bedroom holding a plate with a single slice of toast on it. Harry had tried to make it look as little as possible by cutting it up and spreading it meticulously around the plate. He'd picked a bigger plate too so the food looked smaller. He shut the door with a kick behind him and snuggled in next to Draco who looked just as nervous, if not more, than before. The blanket was pulled over them and the water was within close reach just in case. Draco curled into Harry, laying his head on Harry's shoulder.  
“Here comes the broom!” Harry said in a jokey voice as he grabbed a bite size piece and made noises, swooping it closer to Draco's mouth. Draco rolled his eyes but couldn't stop the giggling at the childish gesture. Harry always did little kid acts like that and it almost made Draco feel like he was getting a second childhood, another shot with someone who could do it right.

“Open up love!” Harry said as he made the piece in his fingers look like it was hovering but Draco just couldn't do it. He looked to Harry, silently apologising with the sad look in his eyes. Harry was trying so hard for him and yet he couldn't even return the favour. Harry just gave back the same look he always did, one of love and patience and kindness. He let the fake broom crash messily into Draco's chest and he put it back and picked up another piece. This time it was the snitch.  
“Now the score is, toast one, Harry and Draco zero but there's still all the time in the world for them to pull it back.” Harry did a fake announcer voice and it made Draco feel a lot better but he just wondered how long it would take until Harry got frustrated and gave up on him.

“Now the score is toast nine, Harry and Draco zero. Will number ten be the one?” Harry said in an ominous voice and Draco forced himself to do this for Harry. He couldn't let him down, not after all this time.  
“It's getting closer and closer, swerving and dodging but at the last second Malfoy comes in and...” Harry waits to see if he will do it, Draco opens his mouth and takes the toast from between Harry's fingers, “he scores! 2 million points to Slytherin!” Harry is getting very excited doing fake crowd roars and Draco can't believe he ever managed to get someone so incredible sitting beside him. Harry shushes the fake crowd and begins to laugh, coming back to his own voice.  
“I am so proud of you, you did it.” Harry said as he pressed a tender kiss to Draco's cheek.  
“It was one corner of some toast, it's nothing special but thank you.” Draco smiled and took another piece, trying not to overthink it too much.

“Now you see, that is where you are wrong Malfoy.” Harry smirks, making out like he isn't silently screaming of happiness inside at every bite Draco takes.  
“Oh am I?” Draco retorts with a raised eyebrow and Harry turns to him, pointing a finger to his lips in thought.  
“Yes and I'll tell you why. It's not just how much you eat, it's how you change your mindset on what you eat. So even eating something, as small as it may be, means you've overcome the fear and all that was going on in your head.” Harry explained and Draco couldn't help but watch the way Harry over-exaggerated his speech. The way Harry caught eye contact with him just at the right moments and how he knew just when to bring light to what he was saying by adding a smile. Draco was enthralled and captured in Harry's brilliance. So much so that he finished the plate without noticing. Harry had noted it though, and before Draco could even think about how much he'd eaten, Harry moved the plate to the bedside table and started to talk to him about anything and everything. Draco cuddled up to him, answering occasionally while taking comfort in Harry's steady heartbeat thrumming in his ears.

“I love you, I love you so so much.” Draco whispered in a moment that overcame him, cutting off a sentence Harry was halfway through. He was completely wrapped up in Harry and couldn't stop thinking about how it had almost been an hour and a half to eat one piece of toast yet Harry stayed and talked to him and didn't once get frustrated.  
“I love you too.” Harry replied, smiling down at Draco and pressed his lips all over Draco's head, anywhere he could reach.

Little did they know that gradually Molly had been popping by and watching parts between the gap she'd made in the door. She was just walking past with some washing when she heard the confession and immediately she looked through at their reactions. When she saw them all curled up and beaming with happiness, she knew she'd made the right decision on letting Draco stay.


	5. Part Five.

Harry was awoken at around 1am and the second his mind came into reality, he reached out for Draco. His outstretched arms were met with nothing but empty sheets, however, and he started to feel nervous. Instantly, his first thought was that Draco had left him. Their confession of love drove him away too fast. He got the real answer when he fumbled for his glasses and saw the bedroom door open, showing the sight of the landing. Harry could see the glow of the bathroom light on and he was certain he knew exactly what was happening. He rolled out of bed sleepily, hoping Mrs Weasley wasn't up to see him wandering around their house in just his underwear and a shirt. As he dawned closer towards the door he heard the sound of water sloshing and a few hushed, muffled sobs. Harry opened the door, heading straight for the sink with the mindset to calm a sick, panic stricken Draco but when he walked in he saw the most horrific sight he'd ever seen.

“Draco! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!” Harry's heart raced as in front of him was Draco, lying in the bathtub in only his boxers. It would have been a normal scene had Draco not been shivering profusely and turning both blue and red. Harry ran over to him, his feet slipping in the spillage of the water, instantly reaching in to pull Draco out. He submerged his arms into the freezing water and hissed at the harsh temperature change that shocked his body awake. Draco was embarrassed, sobbing and not even trying to say anything as Harry lifted him out of the tub. Draco's skin was textured with goose bumps and so cold it was almost painful for Harry to hold him. He placed the shivering boy sitting on the floor and began ripping towels from the washing pile, smothering Draco's body in them.

“What were you thinking?! You absolute twat. How could you be so stupid Draco?!” Harry shouted angrily as he shook the pale boy, desperately trying to get any answer or reaction out of him. Draco just cried harder, shaking so violently that it affected his laboured breathing. Harry pulled the towels tighter around him, hoping that it would just make him better suddenly and everything would have been a shock they could talk about later. Nothing changed though, and Harry couldn't even look at what colour Draco's skin was, it almost looked transparent.

“I-I c-c-can't- I-I.” Draco stuttered, unable to even take his hands away from his face. Harry had stood up once he ran out of towels, tears pouring down his face as he turned his back on Draco. He couldn't even fathom what he was seeing in front of him or why Draco would do such a thing. He took a big breath, wiping the tears away from his face with one smooth palm gliding down from his forehead. He turned back, breathing heavily. The scene almost seemed worse after he'd looked away and back again.

“D-Draco, I can't, I can't do this. I tried but, seeing you, like... this. I have to call someone to come and take you, to look after you or something because I-I...” Harry stuttered as he shook his head and slowly began to cry. He didn't want to do this to him but there was no way he could even begin to cope with this.  
“MOLLY.” Harry shouted from the bathroom and he heard a rustling from next door. Harry hoped that the shout would have alerted Draco into saying something, anything, to give a reason for this but he didn't even flinch.  
“What are you shouting me about at this hou- oh heavens, Draco what's happened?!” Molly exclaimed as she crouched to Draco's side, rubbing her arms over the sides of the towels. She turned to Harry who could only stare solemnly at Draco, clearly waiting for an explanation or his recall of events.

“M-Molly, he tried t-to... I don't even know what he was trying to do but the water w-was, it was freezing a-and,” Harry tried to describe what happened but he wasn't sure what he was describing, “I-I don't know if he was t-trying to... drown... h-himself... o-or something but...” Harry brought a trembling hand up to his mouth in realisation that Draco could have been torturously killing himself and ran away from the bathroom as fast as he could. This was way out of his league, way out of anything he could cope with. He briefly heard Molly trying to talk to Draco, coax him down, and Harry felt guilt weighing heavily in his stomach at leaving her there to deal with it but he couldn't.

“Dumbledore, we need to get him to the hospital straight away.” Molly said worriedly to the older wizard who had appeared in the bathroom, apparently having heard about Draco's injuries.  
“I already have a team from St Mungo's on the way, they should be here any second.” Dumbledore spoke as calmly as he always did, watching the scene with a wistful glare. He bent down steadily, resting a hand on Draco's shoulder. He was still sobbing and wrapped in towels, curled up so tightly in a ball that you couldn't really tell which ashy blue limb was which. Just as he was about to speak, a team of people all in red outfits appeared on the landing carrying various size cases. They piled into the small bathroom, their voices hushed and rapid.

Harry tried to force himself back in there, Draco needed him now more than ever. He just couldn't find it in himself to even stand up from where he sat perched on the side of his bed. His arms were still frozen cold from where he'd reached in... reached in to pull out Draco, his boy, the one he loved. Draco had tried to end it, rip himself from Harry's care in the most brutal and heartbreaking way. He was just a kid, they both were, how could he want to leave the world so fast when it still had so much more to offer him. When Harry still had so much more to offer him.

“HARRY. HARRY PLEASE, N-NO GET OFF ME.” Suddenly the, once muffled, voices were silenced by Draco's wrecked throat screaming out for Harry. This tuned him in more to the sounds coming from the bathroom as the tears he had managed to slow down came back with a raging full force. He heard everyone trying to shush him, tell him it would be fine.  
“H-HARRY, DON'T LET THEM T-TAKE ME P-PLEASE. HARRY COME BACK HA-” Draco had been cut off by something or someone but the muffled screaming was still audible. Harry's name was repeated over and over in a series of desperate tones and interrupted by harsh sobs. The last thing Harry heard was an aching call out to him before all the voices stopped in a split second. The house was deadly silent and Harry was suddenly aware of how much noise there had been now there wasn't any. He let his sobs go, falling to the floor as he retched and gasped for air, pleading for Draco to forgive him and profusely apologising. He felt arms around him, pulling him upright and a voice trying to talk to him but his eyes were too blurry to make out any recognisable features and all he could hear was his pounding heart in his ears.  
“I-I'M SO SORRY, I'M SO SO SORRY BABY PLEASE. IT HURT SO BAD, COME BACK PLEASE” Harry cried, the pain mixed with the gruesome images painted in his head forced him to scream, scream out until Draco was there in his arms and nothing hurt anymore.

Draco lay alone in the hospital, sectioned off from everyone and still trembling with the cold that had seeped a lot further than skin deep. He felt empty. Lost. Hurt. They'd told him Harry wasn't coming, forced him to stop calling out for him and eventually Draco realised it was useless anyway. He hadn't even wanted to die, he just wanted the pain in his stomach and panic to stop. Just for a while, he wanted numbness. A feeling that overpowered his sickness, weakness and anxiety. Well, now he had it... heartbreak.


	6. Part Six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking of starting a schedule routine rather than randomly uploading. If anyone wants to suggest a time or when I should upload, let me know.

“He's crying again, sir.” The healer sent a sympathetic look over to Draco's bed. It had been two weeks now and Draco had cried almost every hour, only stopping to sleep and when he had run out of tears. That was worse then, all he could do was stare blankly at the wall and sob, the raw, choked noise so painful to even the toughest of healers. Dumbledore never answered the healer, just nodded his head.

“Any word on Harry yet, sir?” Another healer passing asked, her eyebrows furrowing in sympathy when she saw Draco crying again. By now they all knew his story.  
“Not yet.”  
“Well they should bloody well drag him here then, there's only so long we can keep up like this.” The passing healer replied before pushing her rattling cart further down the corridor. There was a silence, both of them just standing in the doorway and thinking over things. Draco hadn't noticed them, he never did.

“She's right you know Albus, he's declining fast and if we don't do something soon I can't promise he'll survive.” She said truthfully, ticking off her check sheet and strolling away as she shook her head. Dumbledore knew she was referring to his eating habits. They were worse than ever now. They forced it on him at all hours of the day as it was the only way to keep him conscious. They all knew the procedure Draco was going to have to have but they needed his permission for it. He had stated clearly every morning that he would not allow them to do anything until Harry was there to help him. By this point, Dumbledore was starting to think Draco might actually be suicidal.

Of course, they'd kept this knowledge from Harry under strict instructions from everyone in his care.  
“He's too young,” Molly kept repeating, “he needs time to get over what he saw before you send him back there.”  
“But I fear we don't have time Molly, he's getting worse by the day.” Dumbledore had replied, sighing deeply. He had never anticipated this level of urgency and he felt very stupid, telling himself that he should have seen the signs when he let Draco apparate from inside of Hogwarts. That conversation had been a week ago and still nothing had changed.

Harry wasn't behaving all that different from Draco, he never moved or talked but he sure cried a lot. He was woken up approximately two times a night by the image of Draco lying dead in his arms to which he would promptly feel the weight of the world on his shoulders before it crushed him back to bed. He ate more, but only just and sometimes, if he was _really_ honest with himself, he liked feeling sick because it reminded him of Draco.

“Harry, could I talk to you for a second?” Dumbledore perched on the edge of the bed next to where Harry was forcing down a few potatoes. He rolled them around his fork until he gave up, placing the plate on top of the stack he never bothered to move. Harry took a big breath, almost like he'd been waiting for this. The room went silent as a tear dribbled down Harry's bleak face.

“H-He's dead isn't he? He's gone a-and it's all my fault, I was too pathetic and weak to go and see him and now he's-”  
“Harry, Draco is still alive.” Dumbledore replied in the middle of Harry's sentence, not wanting to get him worked up for no reason. Harry didn't know if this made him feel better or worse. Of course, he was always eternally thankful that Draco was alive but he'd left him, broken and alone to lie in a hospital just because he couldn't face being there for him. He was weak and scared that if he saw Draco in the state he had last seen him in, it would be an image he'd never be able to forget.

“Harry, I need you to listen to me carefully,” Dumbledore said and Harry knew he'd have to turn to face him before he said anything more, “Draco is alive, but barely. He's refusing to go through anything that may help him unless you're there. We are not pressuring you to go in any way but if you were at all considering it, now would be the time.” Dumbledore had tried his best to word it better than the reality of the situation presented. He couldn't turn up and pin Draco's life solely on Harry's hands but he still needed Harry to understand the seriousness of the situation he had been put in.  
“So basically, if I don't go... he's going to die.” Harry replied, trying to get to exactly what Dumbledore was avoiding.  
“To put it in simpler words, yes.” The older wizard replied, which earned him a displeased shout of disapproval from Molly.

“Albus! He's just a kid,” Molly exclaimed before turning to Harry, “dear, you don't have to do anything you don't want to, okay? We just felt like you needed to know.” She smiled softly but her sunken eyes told Harry she was tired of it all and Harry paused.  
“I'll go.” He nodded, feeling a rush of nerves from the sudden outburst but knowing he could never live with the death of the one he loves on his conscience.  
“Harry, are you absolutely sure? I cannot promise you a pretty image when you turn up. Draco is undoubtedly worse than any other time you would have seen him.” Dumbledore knew it would earn him a glare from Molly but he had to prepare Harry for, what was going to be, a tough visit.  
“I'm sure, I-I shouldn't have even left it this long. It just got harder and harder as the days went past.” He trailed off, looking down at his bony hands. He could feel the concerned stares of everyone as they prepared to take him to Draco.

“This is his room dear, he won't allow anyone except you in so I can't come with you but I will be right outside if you need me.” Molly smiled and Harry hugged her on impulse, feeling emotional with all the love and support she constantly gave him. She sighed as she patted Harry's back and watched the way he pulled away, too nervous to talk. He placed his hand on the door and braced himself, he couldn't react negatively as that might make Draco feel guilty. No matter what he saw, he just had to plaster on a brave face and tell him it was okay. He wasn't quite sure how it got this hard, it was just Draco. The same person he'd been laughing with, the same person he'd been kissing, the same person that had wanted to be his boyfriend. With that pleasant memory replaying in his mind, he walked in.

What he saw as he got closer to the bed was not the same Draco. It was nowhere near. Dark circles ran rings around the sweet, glistening grey eyes and his skin was washed out of all signs of life. His lips didn't look so kissable anymore, they had a blueish tint to them and they had cracked, leaving scabs behind. It took everything in him to force more steps forwards and not collapse to the floor at the state of his boy, his beautiful boy.  
“D-Draco.” He coughed and swallowed thickly, knowing if he cried that would be it, he'd lose his composure completely. Draco turned from where he was staring at the wall, his face blank and sunken.  
“Sure.” Draco said in a mimicked sarcastic tone as he leaned back and pressed the button that alerted a healer, he looked like he was in a great deal of pain when he moved though. She came running in, her hair tied up neatly and papers flapping in front of her. She stood next to Harry, her breath laboured.

“Draco, what's wrong? Are you ready? Can we do it?” She said, clearly under the impression that he had talked to Harry in any degree. In her excitement she had already started flipping through, what Harry could see were, procedural notes.  
“I'm hallucinating again, Harry is right... there.” He said casually as he looked straight at Harry's face and the healer stopped flicking through pages. She discarded her search and turned to look at him too, almost as if she was checking he was actually real.  
“Draco, you're not hallucinating, it's Harry. He's come to see you.” She was speaking to him like a child, Harry didn't know if it was because she spoke to everyone like that or because Draco was particularly bad. The look Draco then gave her was heartbreaking in its own right.

“Don't,” He said sharply, clearly trying to force his lip not to quiver, “you've tried that before and you know. It. Doesn't. Work.” He seethed, clearly very distressed, before composing himself and turning back to look at the wall. This time the healer sighed discreetly and spoke to Harry.  
“Harry, love, go and talk to him please? Maybe touch his arm or something so he knows you're real.” She suggested and dismissed Draco's hallucinations casually as she walked off. There were a whole matter of alarming things that had just played out in front of him but he tried to ignore it.

“Draco, it's me, I swear.” Harry said and Draco just looked unamused, his face void of any readable emotion. He almost looked soulless.  
“That's exactly what that Harry over there said.” He replied as he looked somewhere to his left, where there was nothing. Obviously. Harry didn't even know what to reply to that with. Starting to feel a little out of his comfort zone, he sat down and Draco didn't even bother to acknowledge his presence. Clearly, this happened a lot in whatever hallucinations Draco had. Harry sucked in a breath and pushed his own fear aside, he was here and now he could see just how much Draco needed him. Hell, he was even seeing him in his own head.

“Baby, l-look at me.” Harry stuttered, the pet name sounding almost foreign coming out of his mouth at a time like this and he could see the tear run down Draco's cheek while his jaw clenched. Before Harry could say anything else, Draco snapped.  
“DON'T. OKAY... JUST STOP. YOU'RE NOT REAL.” Draco angrily screamed as he looked Harry directly in the eye. Harry could see the worlds of hurt deep within them. Draco flopped back, sobbing openly as his face scrunched up. His arms were too painful to move and it was only a hallucination so he didn't bother to try anyway. If Harry's heart could have shattered anymore, it would have been then.  
“Shh, shh oh come on hey. Okay, okay, shh.” Harry soothed but Draco couldn't hear him over his own sobs. Harry decided to do something which he had been putting off, he leant over and was ready to touch Draco. He was terrified he might break him though so he tried to be light handed.  
“Shhh, okay, shhh.” He whispered as he swiped a thumb across Draco's cheek. The second his hand made contact with Draco's skin, the soft grey eyes snapped open and they went wide with shock. That made Harry jump a little and he gasped, Draco almost looked insane with the way his eyes bulged out of his sculpted face.

“D-Do that again, now. Do it again,” his head had snapped to watch Harry closely and Harry's hand hovered, clearly he didn't move fast enough because Draco shouted, “AGAIN.” That startled Harry into touching him and his hand came down, cupping Draco's cheek. It was almost like a switch had been flicked in the way that Draco shed whatever wall he'd put up to stop the hallucinations from hurting him.  
“H-Harry?” He whispered, his voice cracking as his face softened completely from the evil expression he had just seconds before. Harry smiled, he'd missed that look of trust.  
“It's me, love.” Harry replied softly, finding the tenderness Draco still had for him very emotional but still ready for whatever reaction Draco had to throw at him. All he did was cry as he stared directly into Harry's eyes, not letting himself blink in case it all drifted away into a dream.

“Alright love, okay. W-What can I do to help baby?” He rushed as he wiped Draco's tears away as fast as they came.  
“H-Hold me, p-please? D-Don't go, please H-Harry, please d-don't leave me, I-I'm so s-scared.” Draco blurted and Harry desperately wanted to hold him but he wasn't sure what he was allowed to do. Draco clearly had limited movement so Harry didn't want to go picking him up and breaking his spine or anything.  
“Okay, okay, Draco? Draco, listen, hey, listen.” Harry said as he cupped Draco's face with both hands, almost holding it in place. It reminded Harry slightly of the dreams he'd been having but he forced himself not to ruin this moment, he was ALIVE.

“Before I do anything, I need to know if I'm allowed to hug you, okay?” Harry said and Draco quieted, Harry could feel him trying to shake his head.  
“I-I don't care, please, I don't care anymore.” He began to cry again, snot dribbling down his face and Harry sighed.  
“Oh Draco love, it's alright,” He whispered as he pressed the button for the healer then grabbed a tissue. He mopped up Draco's face as his healer ran in less enthusiastically this time.  
“What's wrong?” She droned and Harry turned to her.  
“What am I allowed to do, I-I mean can I hug him? O-Or hold him?” Harry asked as he still tried to calm Draco in between words with quiet murmurs.  
“You can do anything except it has to be very careful and slow and he can't put any energy into it.” She said and Harry sighed with relief, at least he knew now that Draco wasn't made of glass. He thanked her and she left again, muttering something about 'stupid kids'.

“Alright, Draco, you're going to have to calm down for me yeah?” Harry smiled and Draco nodded eagerly, craving Harry's touch after being left for so long. Harry coaxed Draco into taking nice deep breaths with him, trying not to cringe at the sight of his bones moving under his tightly stretched skin.  
“Right, don't move, I need you to tell me if I'm hurting you.” Harry sternly reminded as he cradled Draco's back and head with his arms. Draco felt slightly humiliated at how useless he was, his limbs basically pointless with how little he could use them. Harry held him up and slipped in behind him, spreading his legs and lowering Draco back onto his chest as steadily as possible until finally, Draco's head hit the soft fabric. Harry felt the bumps of his protruding spine digging into his stomach but he ignored it in favour of trying to support Draco's neck.

“H-Hurts Harry, i-it hurts.” Draco began to cry again and Harry immediately lifted him back up.  
“Okay, okay shh I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” Harry apologised as he slid back out as fast as he could and placed Draco back where he was. This whole episode had seemed to upset him more.  
“I-I've been waiting for so l-long and now I-I can't even cuddle you.” Draco's head rolled to the side away from the dark haired boy, so ashamed at what he'd become. Harry immediately rubbed a hand on Draco's arm.  
“Baby, hey, look at me,” Harry smiled as he leant down and crouched on the floor, Draco rolled his head over, “there we go, god you always were so bloody beautiful weren't you.” Harry let a tear drip as he laughed, Draco tried to smile but his face quickly fell.  
“I was.” He muttered sadly, averting his gaze briefly.  
“And you still are, just maybe a little ill yeah? But we can fix that, we can make it okay.” Harry said in a high pitched voice as he brushed Draco's blonde hair off his forehead.

“I-I'm dying, aren't I? I'm dying and that's why you're here.” Draco sighed, he couldn't kid himself that Harry was here of his own choice otherwise he would have come earlier. Well, he wouldn't have left him in the first place.  
“You're not dying love, but you're really, really not very well. You need to let them make it better.” Harry remembered what Dumbledore had said to him, 'he needs this treatment Harry, you need to convince him to have it'.  
“That's why you're here, I knew it would be something. Dumbledore sent you didn't he? Probably told you I was gonna die if you didn't come?” Draco had guessed pretty much correctly and Harry sighed, he couldn't lie in front of those gorgeous eyes, but he didn't have to.  
“Knew it, I-I waited and I waited b-but you never came. Now I-I'm going to die and I barely get to spend any time with y-you.” Draco's lip was quivering again and Harry saw this as a time to explain himself.

“That's not it love, I was going to come but you have to understand something. Seeing you... like that, knowing what you'd tried to do, i-it,” Harry could feel himself getting emotional and he turned away for a second before turning back, “it really broke me because I was naïve, I-I thought maybe I could save you. I-I loved you, still love you, too much to see you in that state. I-It was my worst nightmare.” Harry confessed, sniffling a couple of times and Draco listened intently which is more than Harry ever could have wished for.  
“I-I'm sorry, I promise, I-I wasn't trying to die. I-I just, I want the pain to s-stop Harry, I want it to go away.” Draco started breathing heavily and Harry pressed a kiss to his forehead, letting his warm lips linger there for a few seconds.  
“We'll make it go away baby, it'll go away I promise, I-I swear I will never, ever leave you again, I-I'm so so sorry.” Harry punctuated his sentences with his cracking voice and long kisses to Draco's delicate skin.

“I-I'm scared, Harry.” Draco whispered and Harry pulled away upon hearing the confession. Draco reminded him of a child in that moment, so vulnerable and unaware of what his future held that he clung to anything he could regard as a constant. Not that Harry had been that over the past few weeks.  
“I-I know but it's okay to be scared. Y-You've just gotta be really brave and we'll get through it, yeah?” Harry smiled, feeling like the initial guilt was being lifted and they were coming back to how they used to be. Draco felt the same, trusting Harry's reasons allowed him to move forward and prepare himself for recovery.

“Can I tell them you're ready love?” Harry asked, wondering if the question was rushing into things a bit too fast but Draco hesitantly nodded as much as he could.  
“Y-You're not going to leave me again after, a-are you?” Draco asked and by the tone of his voice Harry could tell he'd been itching to ask that question. Looking at Draco, he never wanted to spend another second without him.  
“No love.” Harry promised, sealing it with a kiss to Draco's hand. He pressed the button, hopefully for the last time today. This time it took a few minutes before the healer arrived.


	7. Part Seven.

“He's ready, aren't you love?” Harry proudly stated and Draco smiled as much as he could, taking a big breath and nodding. She happily left to collect the equipment as another healer sat down in the chair opposite Harry. She had her papers ready unlike most and she looked down, scanning the page before she spoke.  
“Hello Draco, now I'm just going to explain what we're about to do here, alright?” Her voice was sickly and she was the stereotype of a healer but as long as it made Draco comfortable then Harry didn't care. He could tell she usually worked with children as she had badges of teddy bears and smiley faces littering her jacket.

“We're going to have to do what's called Nasogastric Feeding which is where we insert a little tube in through your nose and all the way down to your stomach, that then allows us to feed you what you need. Is that okay?” She smiled but Draco looked terrified at the prospect, his eyes darting over to Harry in an instant.

“H-Harry, n-no.” Draco started to panic, his chest becoming tighter and the tears started to well up. This was big, bigger than he thought and bigger than he could handle. Even the thought of someone shoving a tube down his throat was enough to make him want to sew it up completely.  
“Hey, hey alright. Listen to me, listen love. I'm going to be right here, holding your hand making sure you're absolutely fine okay?” Harry assured and Draco kept breathing heavily and crying. The news had only gotten him more worked up and emotional on top of seeing Harry for the first time in weeks, he wasn't strong enough.

“N-No I can't, please H-Harry I-I feel sick.” Draco panicked and Harry leaned forward, holding him tightly as he sat him up in the bed. Harry expected that, he always got worse when he was nervous.  
“You're not going to be sick love, you're just panicked that's all, alright baby.” Harry smiled as he ran a thumb over Draco's sunken cheek.  
“Make i-it stop Harry, make it go a-away.” Draco begged and Harry just wrapped his arms around Draco's middle, leaning his head on Draco's shoulder so he could have a more intimate moment.  
“I promised you I would, and I will, alright? But this is how we have to do it and I need you to be super brave for me.” Harry whispered into Draco's ear sweetly, trying to imply that this was perfectly fine and nothing major. Draco gulped for air, trying to get his breathing back to normal as he nodded. He knew this was going to be what would stop him feeling so ill but it was such new territory and he didn't even know anything about it.

“Good boy, you're doing so so well.” Harry praised, knowing that Draco was being a lot braver than he would have been.  
“Alright, are you okay Draco? Are you ready?” She asked, looking between them both and Harry felt slightly awkward that he'd forgotten she was there. Draco nodded and that was good enough for him.

As the cart with the materials came closer and he saw the healer snapping on her gloves, Harry could feel that he was going to have a massive attack to deal with. He wasn't sure whether it was going to be panic or sickness but he tried to prepare himself for both. Draco took one glimpse at the cart and then shut his eyes tightly, Harry just hoped they could get him through this.  
“Okay, Draco. Would you like to do this lying down or sitting up?” She asked in a bored tone, almost as if she'd done this a million times before. It was actually comforting in a way to Harry, at least he knew his boy was being well looked after.

“I-I want to sit i-in Harry's lap, please.” Draco asked and Harry was going to mention it hurt him last time but he didn't bother, knowing that Draco needed to be in control of everything.  
“Okay well, we'll transfer you over to the chair then.” The healer said and went to go pick up Draco but Harry interjected, seeing the brief cringe evident on Draco's face.  
“I-I've got it,” he said as he stood up quickly and both of the nurses looked at him, “I-I mean, I'd prefer it if I...” Harry gestured to Draco and the healers gave him a look before moving away and allowing Harry to pick him up.

“Alright baby, I'm gonna pick you up okay. Tell me if anything hurts.” Harry smiled and Draco looked relieved that Harry was the one doing the job. Harry pulled the duvet away and placed one arm under his legs and another cradling his top half. Draco's head came to rest on Harry's shoulder as he lifted him up. Harry almost shed a tear when he realised that yes, he had actually lifted him off the bed. The boy weighed next to nothing.

Harry and the healers meticulously placed him down, Harry holding him supportively in all the areas he didn't have the strength to hold up himself. Harry could tell Draco felt embarrassed by the whole thing as he couldn't make eye contact and he just kept sighing. They were making sure he was properly supported when Harry whispered in his ear.  
“Nothing to be ashamed of love, I'm so proud of you.” With the rush and general hospital noise, nobody else heard it but it sent a brief rush of confidence over the blonde boy.  
“Right okay, we're ready.” The healer announced to the others that were preparing tools. They all leant around Draco and Harry's hands tightened slightly around his middle, just helping him feel secure.

“Right Draco, which nostril are we putting it in? Is there a certain one you'd prefer?” The healer that looked to be doing the tube placement seemed sweet when she spoke to Draco and that put Harry at ease. Draco wiggled his nose, trying to decide which would be better.  
“M-My left p-please.” Draco stuttered and the healer nodded, placing a tissue at his nose.  
“If you could just blow into that for me Draco.” She said and Harry sniggered childishly, he knew Draco did too slightly and that sent a wave of relief over Harry.  
“Good okay. My partner here has just got some water so whenever we tell you to sip if you could just drink a bit for me. All that does is help the tube down easier, alright?” She explained and Draco nodded.

“Now, it's going to hit your gag reflex here and I've been told you're a little bit scared of sick aren't you Draco?” The woman said and Draco nodded again, a mixture of anxiety and embarrassment coating his expression. Harry never did quite understand why he got so awkward regarding his sickness fear.  
“When it hits there I just need you to really fight that okay? Can you do that?” She asked casually and Harry could tell that that got Draco worked up. He didn't answer straight away like usual and Harry knew there was something wrong. When he looked from the healers over to Draco, he was crying, his face scrunched up like it had been when he saw Harry.

“Aww, hey come on, you were doing so well. Shhh, it's alright love, okay shhh.” Harry comforted and Draco curled his head towards Harry to get away from them, sobs escaping his mouth.  
“I-I can't Harry, I-I can't.” He began to panic, his breaths coming in short bursts. Some of the healers were cooing at them both, Harry could tell that this was actually a little tough on them to watch.  
“Yes you can, you can love. You can do this I know it, come on baby.” Harry said as he gently rubbed his hands over Draco's arm. Draco could feel his stomach churning and that scared him into calming down, he wanted to feel the least sick possible when they actually did it.  
“Nice big breaths Draco, that's it, good boy.” Harry coaxed him into breathing along and they managed to settle him back down after a couple of minutes.

“C-Can we just h-hurry up please?” Draco hiccupped, desperately wanting it to be over.  
“We're going as fast as we can alright, now I'm going to need you to stay really still and only move when we say, Draco. That's important, otherwise it could be really painful and we don't want that.” She smiled as she spread the lubricant on the end of the tube, the thick substance coating the see-through plastic.

“Ready?” She said and Harry spoke up before they could do anything.  
“Draco love, is there anything I can do to help? Do you want me to stay quiet?” Harry asked, wanting to be of as much assistance as possible.  
“Y-Yeah, I-I'm gonna just t-try and focus,” Draco bit his lip, fighting an onslaught of tears, “I-I'm ready.” He said, Harry could feel his breathing getting faster already but he just stayed quiet as they placed the tube by his nose.

“Okay, going in, water ready.” The healer was very, very concentrated now, her brows furrowing as she had to make this precise. Tears started to drip down Draco's face but he kept still as it threaded into his nose.  
“Okay Draco you're going to be meeting a bit of resistance here and it might hurt a bit but it's just the tube connecting from your nose to your throat.” She said and he flinched as it hit the sensitive spot. He let out a couple of short breaths but he managed it without any real trouble and it must have slid down easily because his heart was pounding so hard Harry could feel it thumping on his arms.

“Okay, and sip.” She said and the straw was placed at Draco's mouth. He sipped but when he swallowed Harry could feel the lurches of his body gagging. Draco was crying now, his body shaking and his eyes screwed shut. There were little whines of pain or panic, Harry couldn't quite tell which, escaping him but he managed to keep them quiet enough that only Harry could hear them.

“Keep going Draco, well done.” Harry whispered as the tension was so thick. He could feel how much Draco was gagging yet he wasn't showing any sign of it and Harry's heart leapt with pride.  
“Sip.” She said again and Draco hesitated this time but managed to push himself to do it.  
“Okay, almost at the stomach, just a couple more sips to go Draco, well done.” She said before she went quiet again. Harry felt so useless as he watched Draco sip and cry, sip and cry. Finally, it reached his stomach.

“Okay, I think it's in, I'm aspirating now to check.” She said as she placed a syringe at the base of his tube and withdrew... something. Harry looked away, he had a strong stomach but that was almost too much. They took the sample to the other side of the room and checked it, apparently it was okay because they plugged his tube up and taped it to his face, hooking it behind his ear.  
“You're done now Draco. We'll be back to feed you in a few minutes but we'll let you get used to it first.” She said and immediately Draco's eyes opened wide. He started humming like he was trying to say something but he couldn't.

“W-What's wrong baby? What? W-What are you trying to say?” Harry rushed, worried at what he was doing. He looked over to the bin and Harry got it, of course that would be the first thing Draco would say if he could.  
“Alright, okay, okay you're not gonna be sick baby, you're not.” Harry said calmly, just thankful that it was just Draco's fear and nothing too dangerous, as the healer grabbed the bin.  
“Let's move you back to bed yeah, so I can look after you and the healers can go back to work.” Harry said, he felt terrible about ignoring Draco's sickness but he needed him in a better place so he could see what was going on. They moved him while he was still panicking, placing him sitting upright in his bed. Harry sat on the bed next to him, holding the tin in front of him as the healers packed up.

There were a couple of minutes where Draco refused to open his mouth, gagging behind his hand until Harry had practically peeled it away.  
“Alright, alright. You're okay love.” Harry said and Draco shook his head before leaning over the bin and gagging, a horrible retching noise erupting from his mouth. Nothing apart from a little bit of water came out which is what Harry expected.  
“Okay, shhh, breathe for me baby, breathe.” Harry's instructions fell on deaf ears as he rubbed Draco's back and tried to do everything he could to calm him down.

“G-Getitoutofme.” Draco rushed, his voice a completely different sound to what it usually was and it stunned Harry for a second before he realised it was the tube affecting his voice.  
“I can't sweetheart, I can't.” Harry watched Draco sympathetically, brushing Draco's hair out of his face. He gagged again and Harry leant forwards rubbing his chest and kissing his forehead.  
“H-Hold me.” Draco whispered before retching into the bucket again loudly.  
“Alright, shhh, I got you.” Harry whispered, starting to get up so he could cuddle Draco and to his surprise Draco slid down the bed and curled sideways into a ball, his body still lurching occasionally. Usually he would never move away from a bag or a bin when he was sick but he was also tired and right now, that was winning over sickness. Harry lifted up the duvet and got in next to him, pulling him into a cuddle as Draco tangled their limbs together. Draco continued to gag into Harry's chest but Harry just assured him that nothing was coming out and that it would all be okay soon.

The healers came back about 10 minutes later to find Draco sleeping softly curled into the warmth of Harry. They paused and looked at Harry who was stroking his fingers through Draco's hair and occasionally sticking the tape back down when it peeled away from his skin. When Harry spotted them a sinking feeling pooled in his stomach. He couldn't bring himself to wake Draco up, not when he'd already been through so much hell.

“Can we not do it later? Please, please don't wake him up. He's been gagging so much he's lost his voice.” Harry whispered as he begged them, curling up around Draco protectively. Harry couldn't even begin to describe the soul crushing sights he'd witnessed and heart-wrenching sounds he'd heard when trying to get Draco to sleep. They sighed and sent a sorry look to Harry, he knew what that meant. That was the look adults gave him when they thought he was just a stupid kid who didn't know anything, that riled him up. He knew more about how Draco was feeling than they ever could.

“Please, just five more minutes, please.” Harry said, getting upset himself. He couldn't let them hurt him more, his poor boy was just so exhausted and weak. His body was so thin and his skin so pale that Harry was terrified that they could lose him any minute.  
“I'm sorry, we have to. You can wake him up if you'd like.” They offered as they started setting up his feeding bag by his left side, the liquid sloshing around with the rough handling.

“Please, please don't, please.” Harry shook his head but was ignored. One of the healers leant over and gently rocked Draco's shoulder, disregarding Harry's tougher grip attempting to keep him still.  
“Draco, wake up.” She said harshly in case her handling hadn't done enough and Harry scowled at her, interrupting her statement.  
“P-Please stop. Draco, i-its okay, rest up sweetheart, i-it's alright.” Harry began to cry as he curled himself around Draco more, desperate not to see him in pain again.

“Harry if you don't let us do this, we will have to remove you from the room.” The healer warned but Harry just clung tighter. Draco woke up with the commotion, his eyes fluttering as he heard Harry's pleading and wondered what was going on.  
“D-Don't, he's been t-through so much. L-Leave him alone!” Harry started to get angry as nobody was listening to him. They didn't have to sit with him afterwards. They didn't have to watch him scream. They didn't have to hold his retching body and watch as he struggled to breathe through panic. They left when they were done and Harry had to collect the pieces.

“If we don't do this Draco will be even more ill, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.” The healer said and another one started to pull Harry away, hooking their hands around his arms and gently pulling him off.  
“S-Stop it, g-get off me!” He resisted because he had to keep his promise to Draco, he couldn't leave.

“H-Harry, i-it's okay.” Draco called as best as he could and watched Harry scramble to stop them going near him. Harry looked at Draco, his eyes pleading just to drop it so he had him there for feeding. Pleading at him not to leave. Pleading for his touch. Harry stopped fighting them and sighed, letting the tears drip.  
“I-I'm sorry, p-please don't hurt him, I-I'm just trying to protect him, I-I love him s-so much.” Harry sniffled and the healer let go of his arms hesitantly. Harry fell to his knees and that's when Molly rushed in.

“Harry, Harry dear, oh come on, it's okay.” She said as he leant down and gathered Harry up, hugging him in protectively.  
“N-No, no, i-it's not okay. They're h-hurting him, h-he needs rest.” Harry shouted as Molly tried to calm him down.

“They know what they're doing Harry, they're professionals.” Molly spoke softly as she tried to coax him out of Draco's sight. A healer walked over to them and bent down.  
“I think it's best if we let Harry leave for a little while.” She said softly and Molly nodded in agreement.  
“I think it's just gotten a bit too much for him to see Draco in pain.” Molly explained and she guided Harry out of the room. Draco watched him leave as they connected up his feeding tube and wondered what he did wrong. Harry had promised he would never leave again. Why did he always leave when things got bad? When Draco needed him the most?


	8. Part Eight.

Harry went back in a couple of hours later, a therapist chat and full lunch behind him, ready for the long and hard recovery path Draco would have to take. He walked in and saw Draco curled up fast asleep and a sense of purpose unexpectedly hit him. The poor boy had nobody, no family had come to look for him, no friends had sent him presents. All he had was Harry and Harry needed to remind himself of that.

The problem he had was that as much as he needed to really be there, he was only one person and could only cope with so much so he'd decided to start contacting his friends. He'd sent them letters explaining where he was and what he was doing so that Draco could hopefully get more visitors and Harry could get a break to catch up on the near impossible amount of schoolwork he'd missed. Wondering how many of his friends would reply and how many would then bother to turn up, he sat down on the chair. He'd been given an information pack on feeding tubes by the therapist as Harry wanted to learn more about what he could do to help Draco's body and why he actually had to have the tube in the first place.

He was meant to do homework before he started to read the pack but he was too impatient so he opened the book, scanning the index. He knew about placement and he didn't have the stomach to want to know more about aspirating just yet so he skipped to feeding. He found out Draco had to have a continuous feed, which meant that they created a blended formula that got pumped into his stomach for several hours a day. The therapist had assured him that this wasn't a painful process much to Harry's relief. She told him Draco might feel sick a lot which, due to his emetophobia, would cause him to panic but Harry was used to him feeling like that anyway so he knew what to do. He learned the size of Draco's tube was an 8 French and apparently that was thin? He read paragraphs of information and was determined to read the whole book but halfway through the feeding section, he started to get sleepy. He wasn't supposed to but he rolled in next to Draco and just enjoyed his gentle breaths fanning onto his skin and the peaceful look on his face as he drifted off.

He was awoken about 20 minutes later when Draco bolted upright, his breathing fast and a hand gripped around his throat. Harry grumbled, correcting his glasses on his face from where they'd nearly fallen off.   
“What's up?” Harry croaked tiredly and Draco didn't want to open his mouth. The tube felt sort of lodged in his throat and he couldn't swallow. He gestured to the tissues and Harry pulled him close, grabbing tissues even though he wasn't sure why. Draco pressed his mouth into Harry's tissue-covered hand and spat into it. Harry couldn't help the giggle that escaped him as the wet moisture seeped into his palm and pooled in the creases. Draco leaned back and Harry moved his arm robotically towards the bin, shaking his hand to get the sodden mess away. He then wiped the remains on the duvet as Draco watched.

“Got it... I guess?” Harry said, tilting his head and Draco shook his head, smiling slightly.  
“You can't even talk and yet you still manage to tell me to shove off. I don't get it!” Harry joked, assuming it was what Draco needed after so long of heavy, depressing stuff. In reply, Draco just turned to Harry with a pained look on his face, the laughter from the joke evaporated. Draco pointed a finger at Harry then moved it to the door.  
“Y-You want me to leave?” Harry guessed and Draco panicked, immediately gripping Harry's shirt and moving closer.  
“No, woah, okay, okay, not leaving.” Harry yelped as Draco almost climbed on him. He guessed again.  
“You want me to get a healer?” He tried and Draco sighed, feeling angry that it was just too awful for him to try to speak.

This time he grabbed Harry's hand and started tracing patterns on it. Harry attempted to guess the letters.  
“Y... D... L, no? Um... I? Yes, okay... D...” Harry went along guessing each letter until he reached the question mark.  
“Why... did... you... lea- oh.” Harry understood now and turned to Draco. Draco didn't look angry or hurt, just innocent, so childlike. Harry would have felt better if he was either of those but the fact he was so reserved made him feel a million times worse.

“I-I was angry at the way they were treating you. Seeing you so peaceful in my arms was... beautiful to be honest. Then they came and tried to w-wake you up and I just wanted you to stay that calm, sweet boy. To take away the pain for you like you wanted.” Harry admitted and Draco was slightly soothed by the answer. Even if it didn't calm his anxiety or make him trust Harry again, it felt like Harry was trying and although he broke one promise, it was only because he was trying to keep another. Harry couldn't quite figure out how Draco felt but he hoped it answered his question, he hoped it explained it.

“I've learnt that I can't promise you over and over I won't leave your side for a second, but the best I can do instead is promise that I'll be here when you need me. When everything gets so much that you feel you can't handle it or when the world is against you, I'll be there for you always. It may not be the times you think, but I'll always know.” Harry consoled and a tear ran down Draco's cheek, illuminated by the slight gap in the blind letting the sunlight creep through.

Draco pulled Harry's palm upwards again and traced more letters. Harry didn't read them out this time as the moment was too personal. 'I love you'.  
“I love you too.” Harry replied, gently cupping Draco's face. Draco leant forward at the same time as Harry. Their lips brushed softly before connecting almost like two magnets. Harry's lips were plumper, more full of life and Draco's were a lot less so, also it was slightly awkward due to the fact that Draco couldn't even part his lips but it was what they needed. Something that allowed the moment to stay sealed and captured.

Pulling away, Draco's eyes caught sight of the litters of papers around the guest chair and his eyebrows furrowed just as Harry's eyes opened.  
“What? A-Are you okay? Oh no, did that make you ill?” Harry rushed, fearing the kiss might have pushed Draco's sickness threshold a little too far but Draco just shook his head and pointed to the mess.

“What? Oh, that, that's the information I asked for from the th- I mean, healer, about feeding tubes and how I can help you.” Harry didn't want to admit to Draco that he'd given him reason to see a therapist. He knew that was stupid but he wanted Draco to think he could handle almost anything he threw at him. Draco beamed at the news, his eyes going wide and the corners of his lips curling up slightly.

“F-For me?” Draco whispered hoarsely and Harry nodded.  
“Of course for you, I want to know what you're going through. I want to know if I can help with your feeding or just with the effects it has on you.” Harry stated as if it was obvious and Draco curled up onto Harry's chest, squeezing him once with what little energy he had. Harry shuffled down a bit so they could both sleep again.

“Do you think we could sneak some kissing concoction into Malfoy's tube?”  
“Ohh nice one Fred, don't wanna kill off the little mite though or we'll never hear the end of it.”  
Harry groaned as he woke up only to see Fred and George around Draco's bed. Fred was tapping Draco's feeding bag and George was flicking through Harry's discarded notes.

“Ahh, he wakes.” George announced as he discarded the notes to the floor and both the boys gathered around the bed. Harry's head snapped over to Draco to see he was still asleep.  
“We got your letter young Harry and don't fear, Fred and George are here to take over.” Fred chirped as he leant on the bars at the end of Draco's bed but quickly slipped off them.

“No offence guys but I think Draco might be a bit freaked out if I just left him to wake up with you two shoving stuff down his tube.” Harry smiled as he got up, fumbling with his glasses and gathering together a combination of his homework and feeding tube information.  
“By the looks of you two, it's you shoving things down his tube, not us! If you know what I mean.” George winked and Harry couldn't help but stifle a giggle before answering.  
“This is a serious situation! I'm just gonna sit here and do some homework, please just watch over him for a little bit?” Harry yawned, rubbing his eyes and both the twins softened upon seeing how much stress and only bits of sleep were weighing on his shoulders.

“Me and George don't do serious but we'll try our best for you, Harry.” Fred's words were meaningful but his tone was still light. Harry nodded and began going over some of his potions workbooks. Fred and George were discussing joke shop ideas in the corner while still checking that Draco was sleeping.

It was when Draco eventually did wake up that the problems started coming. Draco stirred and both Fred and George put down their notebooks and watched, Harry had fallen asleep halfway through his charms paper so he hadn't noticed. Draco's eyes opened and immediately he was met with both the twins staring at him. He pointed at the tin that was kept by the side of his bed and Fred handed it to him cautiously.

“He's creeping me out, Fred.”  
“Me too... should we wake Harry?  
“No, did you see him when we came in, he was exhausted.”  
“What do we do?”  
“I don't know.” Fred finished watching Draco pant heavily over the tin.  
“Draco, Harry asked us to help. What can we do?” George spoke loudly and as if he was talking to someone who didn't understand a word of English and Fred slapped him over the head.  
“He's ill, not five, you idiot.” Fred sassed and a smile spread across Draco's face.

“Do you want us to get Harry for you mate?” Fred asked while George was still rubbing the back of his head and scowling at his brother. Draco looked over to where he was sleeping and even though he wanted him, he couldn't bring himself to wake Harry up. Now he was getting a taste of what Harry felt for him when it came to his first feeding. He shook his head and sighed, leaning over the bin and letting a few tears drip over how his stomach churned.

George climbed over to where Harry usually lay and rubbed Draco's back as Fred pulled the chair closer on the other side.  
“Is there anything we can do?” George softly whispered, he hated seeing people sad whether he liked them or not. The way their eyes looked and the expression on their face just seemed to drain the life out of them and it made George more determined to take it away. Draco never responded, he just cried. He wanted the tube out, he wanted to have energy, he wanted to be able to go out and have fun. He wasn't just physically tired, his mind, heart and soul were too.

“I'm s-so tired.” Draco rasped before coughing into the bin and shaking violently.  
“You need to sleep some more then, it's okay you won't be sick, I promise.” George comforted but Fred spoke up.  
“I don't think he means that type of tired, Georgie.” Fred could tell, he knew what every single type of happiness looked like so he could easily convert that into sadness too.  
“Oh.” George felt stupid, of course that's what he meant. All they could do in response was pull him in closer and send him reassuring smiles.

“I'm s-sorry.” Draco said between sniffles. He knew he'd have to mention the underlying bad energy between them at some point so he wanted to get it out of the way before he forgot to thank them for being there.  
“What for?” Fred asked. It was too long for Draco to attempt just yet so he grabbed Fred's palm and began to spell it.  
“Y... O... U... R...” Fred spoke the letters out loud to George. The words weren't too complicated but with Draco's nerves making his hands shake, it took a while. Eventually, he managed to get the two words out.

“Our family? What about them?” Both the boys were confused at what he was trying to say. Draco pointed to himself.  
“You're sorry about what you did to our family?” George pieced together and Draco nodded. That sent both boys speechless for the first time. Neither of them had really prepared for that type of conversation, they only signed up to watch him for a couple of hours.

“That's okay, I bet it was your scrawny git of a father really.” Fred intended it to be a joke but Draco just looked like he'd been stabbed. Fred's face dropped when he saw the expression, not realising how offensive that could have actually been.  
“I'm sorry, that was a... mistake I-I didn't mean-”  
“It's f-fine. You're here, he's n-not so.” Draco forced himself to get his words out, his father was still a sore subject. It was the truth though, a truth he'd come to realise was important. Anyone who turned up, who helped him or Harry, was to be thanked and never overlooked. Now he had no family he needed to start trying to make himself one.  
“Yeah, that sucks. We're sorry about that.” George apologised and Draco dismissed him.

“It's fine, Weasley.” Draco said with a slight smile, knowing the nickname would elicit a reaction from them.  
“Ohhh, Weasley hey? He must be feeling better, he's already started insulting us, George.” Fred chuckled, secretly happy to hear the name which usually he would dread coming from Draco's mouth.  
“Back to normal then is it Malfoy? Don't think I won't make holes in your tube so... whatever that is, goes all over you because I'll do it, I will!” George looked repulsed by what was in the bag and Draco let out a laugh for the first time in what felt like forever. Their comedy and just general beings were the embodiment of happiness and Draco couldn't quite believe he ever hated them.

“What even _is_ that?!” Fred grimaced as he stood up, pinching the bag with his fingers and watching the substance pool around them.  
“If I were you Draco, I'd have changed it into butterbeer by now.” George muttered and Draco couldn't help but just feel uplifted by their commentary. It seemed to make looking at the depressing sights around him a little easier.

“Oh that reminds me, we got you a little something.” Fred reached into his pocket and pulled out something in his palm. He placed whatever it was on the end of Draco's tube and it got Draco feeling nervous. He knew their reputation for pranks and what they thought was hilarious might not be Draco's humour.  
“Don't look so petrified, it's just something we thought might help.” George beamed and Draco squinted to see what it was. Right next to his feeding bag, attached to his tube was a little banner that said 'keep laughing!'. Draco grinned and looked at Fred.

“It changes to whatever you're feeling or doing at the time so say if you were feeling upset about your dad, it would remind you that you have Harry.” George explained and Draco felt himself getting emotional but for a different reason. They'd spent all that time designing something just to show him little pick-me-ups.  
“Nice one, Weasley.” Draco complimented through the tears and both of them could see just how much it meant to him.

“Draco, are you okay?! Why didn't you wake me?” Harry fretted as he leapt to the end of Draco's bed and took his hand.  
“We had it covered Harry, see, we're awesome really.” Fred smirked but Harry didn't avert his eyes from Draco.  
“Were they okay? I'm sorry, I had to ask for some help.” Harry apologised but he was fully aware that Draco looked the happiest he'd ever been. The light that had dulled behind his icy eyes was back and his dimples were showing again.

“They weren't all that bad.” He commented while looking between them. They were wearing their 'told you so' faces.  
“Looks like our work here is done, Freddie!” George exclaimed as they both allowed Harry to lie next to Draco and they moved to stand at the end of the bed.  
“Thank you so much guys, really.” Harry said and the boys nodded.  
“Anything for you Harry. Now let's get out of here before they do something really gross.” Fred laughed as they left, giggling and covering their eyes.  
“How were they really?” Harry asked laughing, fully expecting a sarcastic comment back but Draco beamed.  
“Amazing.” He admitted softly, looking down at the note on his tube which now said 'you're never alone'.


	9. Part Nine.

Over the coming days, things started to get easier. Draco was growing used to his tube and the feeling of a full stomach which meant Harry had it easier too. He'd also been spoilt a lot by the people who came to visit and, as it was nearing the end of term for the summer, he was getting sent many things from Hogsmeade. Ron had graciously helped Draco through the stack of chocolate frogs he'd get sent in baskets as Draco rolled his eyes and asked exactly how much more he could fit. Deep down though, Draco had realised it was because sometimes he didn't have enough money for both food and travel so Draco would always offer him more when he arrived. Harry had caught up with most of his homework, even recapping Draco on a few bits of it. Fred and George donated their feeding tube attachments to wizards and witches in hospitals everywhere and would always come to Draco for more ideas on what to write on the banners.

“Hey Draco, this just got here for you,” Harry announced as he brought in the days mail for him.  
“Is there any chocolate frogs?” Ron asked excitedly while Fred, George, Ginny, Molly and Arthur all shook their heads at him.  
“Actually, i-it's from Malfoy Manor...” Harry said and immediately the room silenced and all eyes averted to Draco. He had suddenly gone a little paler and his face had dropped from a grin to a wall of unreadable emotion.

“Okay, clear out, clear out. This is gonna be awkward enough without all of us watching.” George said as the family shuffled out of the room. Before she left, Molly bent down to Draco who was now holding the envelope in his hands.  
“Whatever happens, you have us now dear.” Molly smiled and Draco came out of his trance to thank her and send a shy smile. The moment it was just him and Harry, he let the tears go.

“You can do whatever you want with this, remember that,” Harry said as he slid in next to Draco and pressed a kiss to his platinum blonde hair. Draco didn't reply, he just turned the letter over and slowly peeled away the seal. He immediately recognised the handwriting poking out of the top as his fathers' and he knew this was going to be something he didn't want to read. He expected a large scroll with paragraphs of writing but instead, only a note fell out. His breath hitched as it landed on the duvet face down. His shaking fingers gripped it as if it was about to catch fire (although Draco knew his parents and that wasn't a total impossibility).

“Dear Draco.  
Myself and your mother shall be arriving today at 5pm. We expect you to be alone when we do.  
Lucius.”

That was all the note said. Two short sentences. Draco reread over it again and again.  
“What time is it Harry?” He whispered and Harry glanced at the clock on the wall.  
“Four thirty.” He replied and Draco's breath hitched. Harry didn't know what to say, he didn't know whether Draco wanted this or whether he was scared, happy, upset. The whole situation was impossible to judge.  
“I-I need to g-get my suit. My father won't accept this muggle attire.” Draco's tone lacked... anything really as he leant up and went to leave his bed.  
“Draco, you can't. While you're here you need to keep this on.” Harry gently guided him back to lying down.

“Y-You need to leave. I-I know he'll hurt me but I don't want you hurt too,” Draco said and Harry pulled him in tightly.  
“This is a moment you need me, and I know you do whether you do or not. I won't leave.” Harry refused and Draco sighed, tied between keeping Harry safe or selfishly keeping him there because he wanted him.  
“I need you, but that doesn't necessarily mean you should be here. If he does something to you then what about all the other times I need you and you can't be there?” Draco said in a dull tone almost like he'd snapped into a different version of himself. Harry couldn't deny that he was right but he was also sure that Lucius would never be so stupid as to injure someone in a hospital. Although maybe he wasn't stupid, maybe he was smart.

“If you want me to stay, I'll stay. If you want me to leave, I'll leave.” Harry propositioned and Draco just sent him a look in return that spoke more than the words he could say. Harry walked out, his hands shaking and his heart pounding. He glanced at the time, four fifty-five.

Lucius and Narcissa were led past Harry and the Weasley's, their eyes followed the pair step by step. The arrogance and ego radiating off them took almost all of the air out of the corridor. Harry was unbelievably nervous for Draco, he could tell that no matter what he hid behind, he was terrified. The door closed and Harry couldn't sit still at all.

“Father.”  
“Don't.” Lucius interrupted Draco and that was the moment Draco knew that this was going to be a ruthless and cold conversation.  
“We are here to tell you that you are going to have to find a new place to stay and a new way of funding yourself. We do not consider you a Malfoy anymore.” Lucius delivered it blankly and Draco held back the tears, knowing he was already seen as weak by them as it was.  
“Draco, how could you... knowing the plans we have for you... knowing how hard we've worked to put you in the highest tier of purebloods.” Narcissa cried, then muffled her sobs in her husband's shoulder. Draco decided it would be best just to accept it and stay quiet before he made them mad.

“Come on Narcissa, he's not worth our time anymore, blood traitor.” Lucius spat before he sauntered out, his wife on his arm. Draco held it together just enough to see them leave and that was when he desperately wished Harry could be there that second. He almost was though, he rushed in before the door had even closed behind them.

“Draco, baby are you okay? What did they say?” Harry spluttered and Draco just pulled him in and cried harder than he ever had. The emotional hurt of being disowned was more painful than any sickness he'd had to deal with. Harry just rocked him slowly. The sobs were loud and unfiltered, some choked on due to his tube and Harry had never felt so useless. He wanted to kill Draco's family for doing this to him, for hurting him so badly just when things started to look up. Just when he was getting stronger, they stripped it all away and left him broken and alone.

“They dis-disowned me, c-c-called me a-a blood t-traitor.” Draco wailed as he clung to Harry's t-shirt. The rest of the Weasley family started filtering in and coming around him, rubbing his back and whispering comforts. Draco's whole self was so empty and cold that no amount of cuddles at that point could fill the void.  
“W-What am I g-going to do?” Draco whimpered, his voice so quiet that only certain syllables made noise.  
“We will sort everything out okay, don't you worry love,” Harry assured but even he wasn't exactly sure on what they were going to do.

“Harry, I-I can't,” Draco began to take big, raspy breaths and Harry thought he might have a sick panic on his hands, “I-I can't b-breathe.” Draco gasped for air and Harry pulled away from him to allow him space.  
“Draco, it's okay, you're just panicking. Try and take big breaths.” Harry instructed but it didn't seem to work. All of a sudden his heart rate monitor began to beep, alerting healers that his heart rate wasn't normal. People suddenly filed in, ushering everyone out of the room as fast as possible. Harry tried to fight against it but there were too many people pulling him out. He saw them putting an oxygen mask over his face and then he was gone, shoved outside the door.

It was a torturous 20 minutes of waiting before they were let back in and told that Draco had suffered a bad panic attack. Harry began to wonder how much more of this Draco could actually take. He had so much constant anxiety that Harry knew he had to do anything to ease it before his heart gave out. He pulled Mrs Weasley aside.

“Molly, I-I know this is a big ask but Draco doesn't have a place to go anymore. I was wondering if he could maybe, stay with us?” Harry hesitantly asked, really not sure if it was a step too far.  
“I knew this question would come eventually, he can but his care arrangements need to be sorted-”  
“I'll do it, Mrs Weasley, don't worry. I'll care for him. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He breathed with relief, hugging Molly as he heard her laugh.  
“Alright, now go on. He'll be wondering where you are.” Molly smiled as she patted his back and he walked into the room.

Draco was lying still, exhausted and near lifeless with the oxygen mask still over his face.  
“Oh baby...” Harry whispered as he sat by Draco's bedside. Draco gripped Harry's hand in his own, allowing the touch to sooth and relax his body.  
“I sorted everything out sweetheart, you don't have to worry about anything now,” Harry told him and he saw Draco slowly reach up for the mask.  
“No, no love. Keep it on okay?” Harry placed his hand over Draco's that was holding the mask. He lifted it off anyway for a brief second.

“I'm giving up, Harry.” Draco rasped before putting the mask back down. Harry was certain he hadn't heard that right.  
“Did you just say you're giving up?” Harry said and Draco nodded.  
“No, no baby, you can't give up. You've got to keep fighting this, you've got to stay with me.” Harry began to cry as he leant further into Draco's space. Draco didn't have the energy to explain anything so he just left it silent. Harry didn't want to upset him more by trying to talk to him but he couldn't even try and stop the tears. Draco was going to give up and die, just like that.

Everyone went quiet. The room became an empty space. Days passed as Draco got worse and worse. Harry never talked to him but he certainly didn't leave his side. In fact, he looked grateful for every breath Draco took. Fussing around him seemed to be how Harry coped and nobody dare stop him.

It was a shock when Draco pulled the mask off for the first time since he'd made his declaration.  
“H-Harry.” It was barely a whisper penetrating the tough strings of unbreathable tension.  
“Draco please don't,” Harry got up and began to reorder his cards again for the fifth time, “I can't do that. I can't... have this conversation.” Harry's throat was tight and he held back the emotion that had threatened to spill for the days that had felt so endless.  
“I love you,” Draco said and Harry sighed, tensing his fists at the table. He couldn't lose it. He couldn't.  
“Love you too,” Harry replied softly, he had so many things he wanted to say but none of them would help Draco.

“Look at me,” Draco demanded but his voice was feeble and his chest wheezed with the effort.  
“You know I-”  
“Please,” Draco begged and Harry took a minute to compose himself before he went and sat in the chair he was all to familiar with.  
“I know this is hard for you, I just want you to know,” Draco put the mask on and took a few breaths before continuing, “that I cannot tell you how thankful I am for everything... that you've done. I-I love you so much, always did. Always will. Keep fighting for me Harry, you've been the best family I could wish for.” Draco gradually managed to say everything he'd planned with regular oxygen stops.

“Why, Draco? Just answer me that, please. I-I love you and I promise I will stay true to your every word but you _can_ get better love. I just, I don't get why you're giving up.” Harry sniffled trying not to get desperate or angry. He knew if Draco was discussing this then he must feel that something bad was coming soon.  
“It's too much Harry, I don't have what it takes to go through it. It feels like hell, it hurts so much. I want it over with, I'm done.” Draco explained and Harry could tell that he'd been thinking about this for a while. That didn't stop it being the most fucking painful thing he had ever had to deal with.

“Okay love, okay. Just let me tell you something okay?” Harry said and Draco nodded.  
“You have been the best thing that has ever happened to me, every second, every cuddle, every panic attack. I have loved you through it all and will continue to every single day. Don't you ever forget that.” Harry stressed to him and Draco nodded.

“I won't. But I want you to move on Harry. Find someone else,” Draco replied and Harry was completely in denial.  
“No. No, no. How could I?” Harry said but the pleading look Draco gave him forced him to change his view, “okay, I will. Only for you though.” Harry sighed, he never knew just speaking words would be so difficult.  
“I hear Lee Jordan's looking good these days,” Draco commented with a breathy laugh and Harry tried to smile but the joke was what made him realise just how much he was really going to miss his boyfriend.  
“Y-You git.” Harry laughed before turned away and trying to hide the tears that came. Draco couldn't help but feel the worst guilt at how much upset he was leaving behind.

“I'm so sorry.” Draco whimpered as he let a few tears go.  
“It's okay baby, oh love don't cry. It's okay, I'm so proud of you.” Harry leaned over to wipe his tears away and press a kiss to his cheek. Draco just smiled through the tears as Harry held his hand.  
“Whenever it happens, leave. I don't want you to see me like that, Harry.” Draco said sincerely and this was one time Harry would put his foot down.  
“No. I mean it, love. I will be here until the very end. I will not let that one go.” Harry was certain about that and it wasn't changing.  
“Alright, okay. Love you.”  
“Love you more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SPOILER*
> 
> May I remind everybody, especially after this chapter, the tags state 'no death'


	10. Part Ten/Epilogue

“Harry! Can you check the emeralds on my suit pocket? I think one's fallen off and I swear if that tailor gives me anymore rubbish I will shove that tape measure up his-”  
“Okay, okay baby, come here let me see,” Harry fondly shouted into the bedroom of their hotel while he rolled his eyes at the hair stylist who laughed. Draco sauntered in, pouting at Harry.  
“You're so dramatic sometimes,” Harry muttered fondly as he checked the glittering suit pocket.  
“They're all there love, you're fine,” Harry said as Draco looked down and double checked the work, he stepped back and Harry gasped, “you look beautiful.”

The crisp silver suit emphasized his waist perfectly and his hair was curled for the first time under Harry's request. The blonde curls dangled over his forehead and the slight contour makeup Draco had asked for cut out his jaw and cheekbones so flawlessly that Harry couldn't quite believe he was real.  
“Draco, Draco. Stop, look at me.” Harry tried to catch Draco from where he was pacing and fussing about everything. Draco turned and caught Harry's eye, he was stressed beyond belief but in that second it all melted away.

“You are so stunning love, I-I'm speechless,” Harry said as he felt himself getting emotional. His hand covered his mouth as he just admired the sight.  
“I love you,” Draco said as he pulled Harry up into a hug. The embrace allowed them both a second to remember what this was all about and just how incredible this time was going to be. Draco then pulled away, not wanting to get emotional yet as he still had so much more to do.  
“Right, now hurry up and get that hair done! I need to go and make sure Fred and George haven't requested anymore unwanted adjustments to their suits.” Draco hurried off and Harry sat back down in the chair, his smile so wide it nearly split his face in two.

He couldn't believe that ten years ago on the very day he and Draco had had the conversation about what Draco wanted for Harry after his death. Now, they were here in one of the most incredible hotels in London getting ready for their wedding. The road had been long and Draco still had his moments where Harry had to pick him up and convince him to keep fighting but here they were. Draco had planned and planned for this day and Harry certainly was excited but this was Draco's dream. Everyday of his recovery had led up to this point and Harry could not have been prouder of his fiancé.

Later on, when Draco looked at Harry and placed that ring on his finger, it was more than I love you. It was thank you for everything, you are my family, you stuck by me and never let me go. When Harry looked back it was, you showed me what it meant to be strong, you inspire me, I never would have been able to live without you. Their relationship was stronger than I love you's because they had been. In the end, it was Draco who was actually The Boy Who Lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really is the last chapter and... wow, this has been a ride! Thank you guys so much for reading and interacting with my first ever finished chaptered fic! This means the world, hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot! Kudos, comments and subscriptions are very much appreciated!
> 
> Twitter- cutierobandrich  
> Tumblr- weasleytwinwonders


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